A lot of marriages have felt the strain in lockdown, here’s eight ways that we changed for the better.
At the start of lockdown, Wolfie and I were anxious about not being able to spend time with our families, and excited to be able to spend so much time together. We envisioned long lay-ins, lots of sex and lots of barbecues, yet realistically, none of those things happened. Once the excitement of spending so much time together wore off (and it did, quite fast), we found that our ‘new normal’ saw some nuances of its own. Here is a look at some of the changes we discovered.
“Good morning, Matt speaking, how can I help you?”. When did he get so darn nice? Matt is nice, don’t get me wrong, but since his working from home, I’ve come to appreciate how nice he really is – I’m lucky to be married to this man! In a similar way, he’s come to appreciate how hard I work around the home, and some of the ideas that I put into my blog. As I’ve spouted things to him, his latest new phrase has been one of encouragement: “Don’t tell me, write about it for your blog. These ideas are great!”
2. The Small Things
Every morning at 8am, I wake up, grind fresh coffee beans and make my husband his morning coffee. If he’s up before I am, he makes me my morning tea. It’s a small thing, but it’s working as a team that really matters during these trying times.
3. Dinner Dates
At 12:30pm, we stop and eat dinner together. Under normal circumstances, my husband eats lunch on his lunch break and I have mine when I’m hungry, but under lockdown, we’ve been taking lunch breaks together. It’s a nice time to clock off, share the frustrations that we’ve been dealing with during the morning and relax for an hour. Not only, but it reminds us of the days we used to work together in a team. In a sense, we still have that team dynamic, but now we don’t have to hold back on our feelings for one another anymore!
4. Date Nights In
You know that pressure of having to do the best things together for date night? Not in lockdown. In lockdown, you are free to do whatever the hell you want to do, in the confines of your own home. Movie marathons? Go for it. Rock fest in your pyjamas? Do that also. We’ve shamelessly reminisced over our 90’s childhood and we’ve eaten pizza and popcorn like slobs, because that’s exactly all we wanted to do on that occasion. Date night is whatever the hell you want it to be, so don’t feel bad if take out and a movie marathon is exactly what you both want to do, now or after the lockdown ends.
5. Frank Conversations
Have you ever had a grudge with your partner that you just can’t resolve while they’re in the office? You can’t have those problems in lockdown because you are around each other all of the time. Instead of spending time dancing around how best to say something, this lockdown has taught us to cut out the awkward silence and restore our connection for lasting peace, simply by speaking up. Dishes left on the side? Sorted. Mugs left on the desk? Fixed that too.
6. A Taste For New Things
It turns out, lasagne isn’t so bad and I can make a mean lemon mousse, who knew? While I haven’t been able to get my weekly grocery shops, the lockdown has forced us to make meals and desserts using only the ingredients that we have available to us. Not only have we learned the art of improvisation, but we’ve also found some delicious, time-saving and healthy recipes along the way!
7. Sex, Without Having Sex
Initially, the newness of more time together saw us having (a lot) more sex. Unfortunately, like all things, the novelty eventually wore off and instead, it saw us explore other avenues of sexual connection, like oral sex as the main event, and mutual masturbation. Because we were both satisfied, even on the days that we didn’t have sex, we didn’t actually miss sex at all!
8. Less Than Fifty Shades
As maintaining our normal routine has been hard, so our normal kinky sessions have suffered too. Far from the normal Friday night kink sessions that we used to have, we’ve been having lots of fun on a Saturday instead. Is it a session as such? No. Is it as much fun? Absolutely!
So there we have it, 8 ways that our relationship has changed in lockdown. How has the past weeks been for your love life? Has it been better, worse or about the same? Let me know in the comments!
Until next time,
Stay safe & have fun,