TMI Tuesday, 13th October 2020 – Eat, Drink & Be Sexy!

Good evening friends,

Yep.. friends, did you notice that? You see, lately so many of you have reached out to me that really, ‘lovelies’ doesn’t feel right anymore. The amazing people that reach out to me are my friends, and it’s such an honour to interact with and talk with you all, so thankyou!

Today, I am oh so excited to see TMI Tuesday back in action. I will return to TMI Tag at some point in the future, but for now, let’s get stuck into this week’s questions!

1. Name a food or drink you could never live without.

Without a shadow of doubt, chocolate. Not just any chocolate though, I’m super picky about what makes a good chocolate. I’m a bit of a dark chocolate aficionado and I adore Cadbury’s DarkMilk, or Lindt. When it comes to my absolute love, UK-based chocolatiers Thorntons do an almond and hazelnut chocolate Easter egg and I love it. It’s nutty, it’s crunchy, it’s perfect.

Oh, and fun fact.. I put my chocolate in the refrigerator as soon as I get it home. I am extremely serious about the good stuff! I can’t eat a lot in one go though, chocolate has to be nibbled and appreciated.

2. Name a food or drink that you think should never have graced this Earth.

Smoked fish.. I had some smoked basa fillets in a recipe a few weeks ago and they made me heave. The flavour is so intense, I just can’t bring myself to eat it. For me, fish should be cooked, fried or grilled, but never smoked. Mackerel barbequed fresh on the beach? Now we’re talking.

3. If you had to choose between licking chocolate from your partner’s genitals or taking tequila shots from their navel, which would you choose and why?

Right, well, there are two parts to this. First of all, I’m not a heavy drinker by any means and tequila has never been my thing, so that sort of puts that out of the question. The other part is, Mr Wolfie nearly always has lint in his navel so yeah, I definitely don’t want any left over bits of that in my mouth. That leaves chocolate. Now, I’m personally not into food play, but you know, for Mr Wolfie, I’m sure I could be tempted. Plus, it’s chocolate, and I will consider most things for good chocolate.

4. If you had to choose between having to eat one Brussels sprout every day or never having coffee again, which would you choose? Of course elaborate.

Never having? Wha.. but Nescafe gingerbread lattes.. First Covid-19 deprives me of my summer with the family, now you’re threatening to take away my hug in a mug or force feed me little green balls of pure evil? Can I hold hold my nose and down the sprouts? Dowse them in quantities of some sort of sauce, maybe? Anything. Please, I need my gingerbread lattes..

5. Give us the recipe or at least the name of your favourite cocktail

I’m undecided between a French Martini or my very own creation; A Piss In The Avon.

Okay, so the story goes, one of my most favourite cocktails is the ever-so-intiguing Blue Hawaiian. My Dad introduced me to them, and I was in love ever since. One problem though, he mistook the Blue Hawaiian for the not-so-coconutty Ocean Breeze.

Flash forward some years, around 19 years old, and most bars and clubs that I visited don’t know or sell a Blue Hawaiian. They know a Cosmopolitan, they know a Mojito or the godforsaken Friday night Woo Woo. Nowhere, though, knows or sells the humble Blue Hawaiian.

One fine evening, I stumbled upon a bar that sold Blue Hawaiian by a completely different name. I didn’t care, I just needed that drink. I needed to relinquish the taste of coconut, pineapple and rum again – that sweet, creamy taste of paradise. They also didn’t make it quite like my Dad did, they used Malibu coconut rum instead.

Fine, I decided. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Let me just tell you, I tried that cocktail a lot of times that night. Too many times, in fact. It went down far too easy.

One hangover and a few good (and not so good) cocktail attempts later, I mastered my very own Blue Hawaiian-with-coconut-rum recipe. Lo and behold, any flat party that we had, that would be my go-to drink from then on fourth.

Until one fateful family gathering.

In amongst all of the goings on getting ready for an evening of entertaining, I’d forgotten that I’d run out of blue curacao. Determined to enjoy my evening, I decided to push on with the night without it.

“What’s that you’re drinking?” my Dad asked inquisitively,

“Ocean Breeze, as you call it” I replied, “or at least, it’s supposed to be”.

“It looks more like a piss in the Avon!” my Mum quipped.

And so, the Piss In The Avon was born.

Before I give you the recipe, let me just tell you a little bit about my growing up. I grew up in Avonmouth, an industrial village in North Bristol. Avonmouth gets its name, quite obviously, as being the location of the mouth of the River Avon. You can’t actually get that close to the water for about two miles, owing to the high security because of the trade and cruise ships that leave and arrive every day at Avonmouth docks.

Strictly speaking, that’s not quite the full picture. I actually grew up in the neighbouring village of Shirehampton, a fact which I am extremely proud of. In old English folklore, Shirehampton translates loosely as “the church on the hill surrounded by water”. Theory has it that the water may be in reference to the beautiful sight of Horseshoe Bend on the River Avon. It’s also written on the roundabout at Junction 18 of the M5 motorway as “Shi’ton”, something which gives us all a chuckle to this day.

Alright, onto the recipe:

A Piss In The Avon

You will need:

  • Crushed ice
  • 2 shots Malibu coconut rum
  • 1 shot amaretto liquor
  • 4 shots pineapple juice
  • Pineapple wedge (optional)


  • Half fill a glass with crush ice, then empty the contents of the glass into a cocktail shaker.
  • Pour the coconut rum, amaretto and pineapple juice into the shaker, cover with a lid and shake well until well mixed and foamy on top.
  • Pour back into the glass and serve with a pineapple wedge, if desired.

Yes, it looks pretty gross. But it’s tasty!

Bonus: Tell us about your current food fantasy, sexual or otherwise.

I think, more than anything else, it’s to get better at taking photos of my Gousto dishes. It sounds really boring to conclude this post, I know, but hey – that’s the fantasy!

Alright lovelies, I hope you enjoy this post and if you’re feeling brave, I hope you enjoy your very own Piss In The Avon, too. If you want more fun and quirky recipes, don’t forget to subscribe!

Until next time,

Until next time!

Stay safe & have fun,

Helen xx

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