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Fill in the blank, then answer the question.
1. When and how did you discover your passion for WRITING ?
I think, for me, it started off way back when I went through therapy for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety. My therapist told me to try keeping a journal and, you know, I was very sure back then that nothing could help, nothing would work, I believed that I was condemned (yes, depression and anxiety can be a very dark place). I remember the first time that I sat down to write on my laptop, I had a sort of attitude of “well if I have to do this then I suppose I’d better”. For several weeks, I didn’t like journaling, but then something kind of happened, something kind of clicked. I’d have a thought or a feeling, and I’d want to get it all down. I had to get it all down, and I loved to throw my full-throttle feelings into everything that I did. I wrote a few other pieces and showed them to people and some people said that I was an amazing writer and should consider writing long-term. At first, I didn’t really know how to blog and I can say with absolute certainty that I have made some grave mistakes along the way, but then I think we all have at some point or in some form. I started off wanting to just write about psychology, mental health and BDSM, but then as my interests grew, I also found that more and more people were also interested in my other interests, too. Over time, I’ve found people who are interested in cooking, for example, as a primary topic, but also with a secondary interest in BDSM on top. I’ve gone from being the girl with OCD and anxiety, no friends and no place on the world stage, to somebody that so many of my readers seemingly love to read from, and in return, I love to write for them and read from them, too. I’ve gone from being a nobody to being a somebody, all because a few people recognised my ability to write. If that’s not a humbling experience, then frankly I don’t know what is.
2. How has BDSM changed your sex life?
It seems fitting, doesn’t it, that BDSM should be the filler for this question? A lot of people in this world are curious about BDSM, but I think a lot of people sort of don’t want to dip a toe in, usually because they just don’t know where to begin or because they are worried that it might hurt. My best advice: Right from the beginning, listen to your thoughts. Let your shared kinks and fantasies show you the way because really, there is no right order to explore things (just lots and lots of safety bits along the way). Start gently and build up the intensity only if and when you want to. Don’t compete, and that really is the most important thing. This is your journey, not anyone else’s. As for Mr Wolfie and me, I think BDSM bought us closer, much closer. It stopped me from being so prudent and taught me to be a lot more forthcoming with my kinks and fantasies. Before, I would have been more “so.. umm.. I was thinking about this.. umm.. I had an ide- don’t worry, I’ll journal about it”. Now it’s a lot more “hey, so I had this thought about fucking in the woods. Wanna try it sometime?”. Now that I know he likes the way my mind works, I’m a lot less reserved about sharing what it comes up with. Thankyou, BDSM!
3. What is something unique you do to CAPTIVATE your AUDIENCE?
Truthfully, I’m known for my writing style. It’s my writing style and I get a lot of people tell me that I’m pretty unique, so hey, thankyou! With that said, I write like I’m talking to a friend, and with friends, I’m pretty playful and energetic. I can be crazy and cheeky but deep and emphatic too, and I’m unreserved in giving my audience that. I also don’t like to tell my audience like I’m delivering a long, arduous lecture, I like to teach by having a conversation, even if, in effect, your part only really comes in the comment section down below. I always read, like and reply to comments – when my settings aren’t preventing them!
Just a little more on that, growing up, I had a science teacher – let’s call him Mr R. Mr R had a way of teaching that was captivating, informative and inspiring, and I think that psychologically speaking, he inspired me too. I watched and learned from him. He was playful and sarcastic with the class, he never shouted, he was always calm and completely poised. At the same time, I had a few very shouty teachers in classes where we very rarely got work done, and where the bad kids were more about a game of Let’s All Wind Up Teach. One teacher even resorted to keeping the whole class in detention with the idea that our classmates would dole out a punishment of their own to the offending students. It didn’t work, and instead, he ended up with a room full of disruptive students and a not too friendly letter from my Mum, given that my Special Educational Needs stated that I needed regular bathroom breaks. What’s it they say? Respect isn’t given, it is earned.
4. What is the craziest SNACK you’ve eaten while SNACK TASTING?
Okay, so I had to explode poor Mr Wolfie’s brain for the blanks for this question, but we decided that this was kind of fitting in with the blog and all of the foodie bits of it, okay? Awesome.
I think for me, the craziest snack was probably the Thrills chewing gum from our Canada box. Unfortunately, I misplaced my notes before I was able to write that one up and as such, it never did get done, but Thrills chewing gum are something else.
Here’s the deal. In the UK, we have Parma Violets; little disc-shaped candies flavoured with the violet flower which I incidentally love, so I thought these would be more of the same. Oh lovelies, how oh so very wrong I was. On the box, it even says “It still tastes like soap!”, but I decided hey, people say that about Parma Violets too, so let’s try.
Oh Canada, I thought we were friends?
Why Canada, why would you do this to me?
If the UK could be tried for our creations of Marmite and Twiglets, then Canada’s crimes lie in Thrills chewing gum. Not only is the flavour intensely like nothing on this earth, but any time I burped or hiccupped for hours afterwards, the damn thing repeated on me. When I was young, having my mouth rinsed out with soap and water was a threatened punishment, not a chewing gum flavour. For that, I’ll stick to peppermint.
Bonus: Is there such a thing as ‘too much information’? When?
Actually, honestly, I think that yes, there possibly is. I’m networked in with a lot of other sex-positive bloggers and I’ve seen quite a few people who used to be quite candid about their love life, suddenly decide to stop sharing. To me and for me, there is always a cap off between sharing and oversharing, and that cap-off lies in letting people know that a thing went down, versus giving them a blow-by-blow summary of what happened exactly. The ones that I’ve seen quit quite unexpectedly have always fallen into the latter category, which makes you wonder if, perhaps, there isn’t such a thing as a “too much information” sentiment after all. I know that I myself have written and posted things before that I’ve taken down an hour or two later for this exact reason, though it’s never been so much that I have wanted to give up blogging entirely. The internet is an unforgiving place and I think a lot of people suddenly come to realise that absolutely anyone can read anything that you have written, at any time, and that can have unintended consequences. These days, I’m always careful to make sure that even if I am completely sex-positive, I only ever put forward the best version of myself, the version of me that I’m not ashamed of people reading. I don’t mind people knowing that I’m into BDSM, they just don’t need to read about how I do it. Sometimes, it’s good to leave a little something to the imagination.
Alright lovelies, I hope you enjoy this post and have a wonderful Tuesday afternoon/evening. I’ll be back later with my slightly delayed Halloween Countdown post for you all!
Until next time!
Stay safe & have fun,