TMI Tuesday – 10th November 2020: Take A Picture, It Lasts Longer

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1. Do you post sexy pics of yourself on your blog? Why?

I don’t, not personally. You know, people visit my blog for all kinds of reasons and one of my most popular posts is this one, which isn’t very sexy at all! I write about a broad array of subjects and though I should really narrow it down a little bit, I’m also quite proud of my blog for demonstrating that kinky people are far more than just their sexual preferences. I talk about mental health, about confidence, about food and about life, with and without disabilities. When I set up my blog, my goal was to educate, inspire and inform, rather than to sell myself. Do I think I’m sexy? Eh, I have good days, but that’s not something you’re going to find featured on my blog.

2. Have you ever had sex when you suspected security cameras might be present but the passion was too hot to stop or care about being caught on video?

Not cameras, no. With the curtains open? Plenty of times. Our flat is on the ground floor and our bedroom faces the main road, so, you know… I think it’s one of things. It’s not a kink of ours but if the temperature is rising, you just gotta go with the flow.

3. Have you ever had sex knowing full well you were being filmed or pics were being taken?

No. It’s not something that I’d enjoy, personally.

4. When it comes to sex, to which do you most relate–being an exhibitionist or a voyeur?

I’m an exhibitionist, but that goes as much about not caring who sees me fuck as it does about being confident in my own skin. More on that here, if you’re interested.

5. Have you ever sneakily or overtly filmed or taken pics of others having sex? What did you do with the evidence?

You know, I just have a lot wrong with this question. I mean to me, people are people and what people do should be none of our concern, you know? Live and let live. If people are fucking on your private property, of course that’s of your concern and of course you should act, but if people want to engage in exhibitionistic behaviour in a public setting, that’s up to them to know and accept the risks. I guess there are a few ways of looking at this. Firstly, if the shoe was on the other foot, how would you feel about someone unknowingly filming your mid-afternoon romp? Pretty undignified, I presume? I think that applies to all people. We all like an element of control over our lives and how much other people see of us, so why take that away from someone? A lot of exhibitionists don’t mind being caught, some even enjoy it. Being filmed though? I think for many that would be a violation of their trust. If they’re cool with it then you do you but if you haven’t asked, don’t presume.

Second to that, and a much less sexy, was the time that I was photographed against my will. It’s happened to me quite a few times in fact, as a disabled person, the world can be so unforgivably cruel. On this occasion, I’d been on a night out with some friends (we still remember those days, right?) and tipsy me was in a takeaway to get some chips when some guy took a photo of me because I looked a little bit different, and I do, but not massively so. I remember the camera flash and then him laughing with his mates and just kind of gesturing at me. I got really upset and told my now-husband that I would wait outside. I told security what had happened but they didn’t stop him and I just felt really violated because there was now some drunk wandering about town with a photo of me that I didn’t consent to and that I had no control over. So yeah, long story short, don’t be a douche. Moving on…

Bonus: Hot or not–having sex in front of people?

Bleh, not something I’m crazy for. I’m “poly-ish” so threesomes and foursomes are something I’d consider if the time was right, but as in proactive exhibitionism and voyeurism? That’s not for me. I can’t even touch myself in front of my husband without feeling incredibly paranoid, nevermind anything else! I’m afraid I’m a “BDSM or bust” kinda gal…

With that being said, we did used to frequent a BDSM club and we did used to go in the public dungeon a lot. Kind of fun, but there were so many limits on what you could and couldn’t do and sex and penetrative toys were among them. If you have the room and the privacy, we found that it was far more fun just to play at home instead!

Alright lovelies, I hope you enjoy this post and have a wonderful Tuesday afternoon/evening.

Until next time,

Stay safe & have fun,

Helen xx

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