Disclaimer: This post mentions topics involving consensual sexual violence. Not suitable for individuals under eighteen years of age. Reader discretion is advised.
This post was inspired by Minnie’s post, Ode To A Belt.
Disclaimer: It is often in the “vanilla” world that acts like belting are seen as potential acts of domestic violence. Please, please remember that no matter how rough a BDSM scene may appear, all scenes are performed by two people who know what is going to happen and agree to everything that is going on. Always remember that one word can stop a BDSM scene, but a thousand words won’t stop domestic violence.
What is belting?
By any other name, belting is just spanking with a leather belt. Some people distinguish between the two, or might regard it as whipping. For us personally, we like to call it belting because there can be no confusion then as to what this act is, or what’s involved.
Why might someone be into belting?
The first thing we need to be clear on, is that belting hurts. Belting is a form of impact play, which constitutes as an act of sadism and masochism. Beyond that though, there is an an additional and very deep psychological layer that goes far beyond the pain. For the the submissive partner, the belt is a belt that belongs to the Dominant partner, that may even be worn all day on their person. It becomes connected to them, and associated memories of them. It ceases to be merely an act or a punishment, just like a spankee’s skin and a spanker’s hand, it becomes an intimate act between two people.
How did you discover you were into belting?
Do you remember the first time you tasted a grape and decided that you liked them? Stepped into a jacuzzi and decided that a hot, bubbly bath was actually a rewarding experience? It was exactly the same for me. I was carrying a lot of internal stress at the time, I was a carer for my grandmother with Alzheimer’s disease as well as for my disabled Dad. My Mum was the primary carer and I was largely secondary. When I wanted to talk to my Mum and feel understood though, I couldn’t because she was often stressed herself or caring for Nan or Dad, so I was bottling it all up. For a while I turned to self harm, but then I found that the flick of a belt hurt in a good way, that it released all of that tension and angst that I’d been feeling inside. Pretty soon, I was begging for it, I was craving it. Spanking was good, but the kiss of leather was something else entirely. I often get called a brat, but I identify as a ‘Sammy’, or a Smart Assed Masochist. I enjoy pain as way to manage my mental health, as long as it’s along side other, more preferable means (like journaling and meditation) and with people I know and trust.
Share with us a hot memory featuring belting.
Goodness, I think really, it just goes back to the beginning of Matt and me. He used to belt me often because I used to ask for it often. It was always good fun- plenty of bondage, plenty of belting, plenty of rough sex, then his friends would turn up and I’d sit on his bed and watch them play video games and we’d act as though nothing happened 😉
Do you have a favourite toy for belting?
Not really, not anymore. I think now that we’ve got the room for floggers, it’s not something we’ve done for a long time. However, my Sir does still have leather belts and the possibility is always there!
What advice would you give to someone into belting?
First of all, never, ever, ever use a studded belt! In my fourteen years in the BDSM community, I have only ever seen a studded leather belt used once, and that was by two people who were very experienced in what they were doing, and wanted to upgrade. Metal parts can cut and bruise when applied forcefully, and the very last thing we want to cause is serious or long-term damage! Secondly. when you double the belt back, always keep hold of the buckle. You want to strike the skin with the smooth, outer leather part of the belt – nothing metal!
When it comes to belting, start with small flicks to begin with and work up. Never, ever go with the full swing of your arm unless and until you and your partner are comfortable. Practice on a pillow beforehand. When you can make repeated controlled strikes on the centre of the pillow, then you are ready to move onto a living person. Remember to always aim for the roundest part of the buttocks too- at least for now!
If you want to create something psychological for a blindfolded submissive partner, hold your doubled belt in both hands at arm’s length and push your hands together so that a O forms in the belt, then, pull your hands apart quickly to make the belt make a snap sound. Your partner will be listening to everything you do anyway, so that’s sure to give them something to think about!
Lastly, never forget your safeword. If you’re in doubt, ask your partner to recite it to you before you begin!
How do you make belting work, as a disabled person?
Much like spanking, for me it’s largely about using positions that don’t put a lot of strain on my aching bits. Allowing me to move and stretch my spine from time to time is crucial too, as I get intermittent backaches from my lordosis. Whatever the limitation, it’s about finding ways that work for you.
If the arm movements of impact play are too much for you, try making them more in the wrist or elbow instead, or even try alternate hands. Failing that, I do know of a Dominant who even makes his submissives punish themselves!
Alright lovelies, I hope you enjoyed this post. Have you tried belting before? Are you curious to try? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!
Until next time,
Stay safe & have fun,
Helen & Matt xx