TMI Tuesday, 26th January 2021 – Back To The Beginning!: Helen Answers

Hello lovelies,

I hope you’re all doing well. Unfortunately, we haven’t heard from TMI Tuesday Blog today so we couldn’t be part of that. Instead, we decided to go right back to the beginning and answer the first ever questions published. Sit tight, and I hope you enjoy!


What Is TMI Tuesday?

TMI Tuesday is a series of questions generated by TMI Tuesday Blog. It is a great way to meet other bloggers and to share some thoughts and experiences. It is important to remember that there are no right or wrong answers to these questions, only the answers of the author –  and that’s part of what makes this tag so awesome! 

How to play TMI Tuesday

Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Send Us Your Questions!

Do you have something you’ve been itching to ask? Maybe something food-related, something a little bit kinky or something completely random? Have fun with it, then be sure to check back next Tuesday for our answers!

Your questions will be answered by BOTH of us, unless addressed otherwise. You can leave your questions in the comments below or, if you prefer anonymity, you can email us at hello@twokinkycooks.com.

1. Who would you call for bail money?

I had to think about this, but probably my brother. With my mother, it would just be “well that was your own stupid bloody fault”. She might bail me out, but oh heck would there be so much of an earful. My baby brother though? You know, he and I used to fight like no tomorrow when we were young, but now he’s got my back and I’ve got his. We can both be stupid pillocks sometimes, but when push comes to shove, he’ll bail me out and laugh about it, no judgements, no questions asked. He’s the kind of guy you need when you’re in a bit of a pickle!

You’re probably wondering why I wouldn’t ask Matt. You know, he’s my partner in crime, but he’s also my Dominant and we have a Golden Rule that does strike the fear of all things holy into me – If I get myself into trouble, he’s not bailing me out. I have to use my own call of judgement and know when best to stop!

2. Your life has been threatened unless you do one of the three following things. Which would you do? Why?

a. Do a sanctioned and well-promoted strip tease at a WWE event

b. Have sex with anyone of your choosing in a full of trash garbage dumpster

c. Star in your own Girls Gone Wild video knowing that it will be distributed, for free, in your hometown.

I’ll take option A , please. I’m pretty body-confident, so I’d have no shame in that and probably even, to be honest, love the attention. I’m a bit (okay, a lot) of an exhibitionist and I love to tease, so yeah, bring it on. The only reason I don’t post nudes on our blog is because I don’t believe in using my body to promote my work, so sue me 😉

3. What is your most hated chore on your household chore list?

Ooh undoubtedly organising under the stairs. The ceiling gets lower as you go deeper under the stairs, so eventually, you’re basically kissing your toes. It’s fine for the first metre or so, then yeah, not fun.

4. Do you do ay chores naked? Which one(s)?

Not any that, you know, I would call “doing naked chores”. If I’m about to jump in the shower I might put some rubbish in the bin or swap out the hand towels while I’m there, but it’s not a naked full bathroom clean per se. As previously linked, I’m a former naturist so you do you boo, it’s just that now I don’t attend naturist events anymore and my husband isn’t a naturist, it’s just not something I really think to do!

5. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? Did you turn out to do that?

I wanted to be a spy, and no, I ended up being nothing of the sort. It started off from watching True Lies. After that, my mind was set.

Did I become a spy? Not an iota. My passion for sensuality got me here instead! Come to think and owing to my hatred for blood, blowing somebody’s brains out probably would have made me violently sick instead.

Oh, and one last thing?

This is the scene Matt says would be most like me, a complete accidental heroine!

6. One of your scars, how did you get it?

These teeny, tiny scars on my left hand? They’re from the IV lines when I was a baby. I fought off influenza, viral pneumonia and sepsis simultaneously. I’m proud of them! I have some on my right hand too and scars on my ankles from all the blood tests as well. I was in SCBU for 10 days and my Dad called me “BooBoos” (BUBUs) because of those days in the hospital.

So the story goes, by day six I’d gained so much strength that I kept pulling the IVs out. In the end, the only way they could finalise my treatment was to put my hands through loops of bandage and hook them through the sides of the incubator. Yep, kinky and defiant at barely a week old, why change a habit of a lifetime now?!

7. What is on the wall in your bedroom?

Well I know what Matt will say, so I’m going to go with the craft project I did, but also the Paris box frame art that my neighbour threw out, and I basically rescued, fixed it up and put it up. It goes just fine with the the Fifty Shades theme!

8. Do you snore, grind your teeth, or talk in your sleep?

I only snore if I’m absolutely exhausted after a really hard days’ graft, or if I’m sick with a head cold, obviously. I’m a stomach sleeper (sorry, health fanatics!) and stomach sleepers don’t generally snore. I also don’t grind my teeth, though I have been known to clench when I’m anxious or stressed. I don’t talk either, that’s Matt’s job 😉

9. What type of music do you listen to?

I have quite eclectic tastes, but largely pop/rock and soundtracks. I love Depeche Mode, but I also have probably pretty much everything from the Fifty Shades franchise on my phone, plus all kinds of classical piano pieces. I enjoyed a hot shower to Annie Lennox’s I Put A Spell On You today and I baked pancakes to Rolling Stones’ Beast Of Burden on Thursday, because basically, why the f**k not? Have you ever had a hot morning shower to any kind of power ballad? Trust me – it’s amazing!

Bonus: Buried or cremated? Why?

Urk, there’s a question. When I was young, I always wanted to be buried because being cremated absolutely terrified me (thanks to a scene in Diamonds Are Forever with none other than the legendary Sir Roger Moore!), but now, I think cremation would be for me. When my father passed away, he was cremated and I just loved that he was able to have his ashes scattered near his favourite fishing place. I think we’re all going in Cornwall, or off of Cornwall, and I already have plans in mind for when I fall off of the mortal coil. Cornwall is where the heart is, there can be no questions.

Alright lovelies, I hope you enjoyed today’s post. Don’t forget, if you have any questions for us for next time, leave them down below or drop us an email!

Until next time,

Stay safe & have fun,

Helen xx

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