Disclaimer: This post mentions topics involving consensual sexual violence. Not suitable for individuals under eighteen years of age. Reader discretion is advised.
As we wrap up the impact play part of our “What’s Your Kink?” series, there was no way that I could move on without paying due credence to the humble flogger. Darlings, if there is one thing that I absolutely adore in the BDSM community, then flogging is it. In fact, with both of the special men in my life, if I walked away from this series without ever mentioning floggers then I’d never be able to live it down!
In my life, I have two wonderful, kind, ever so slightly evil sadists that I’m involved with everyday. I love them both dearly in their own ways, even if they’re slightly delusional in thinking that they could ever handle me 😉 Both of these lovely gentlemen love themselves a flogger, and if you mention floggers to them, they purr like a cat that got the cream!
It’s really important to understand that I, like the men that I mentioned above, could talk all day about floggers; there’s just not enough that you can really say about them. There are different materials, different ways that they fall, different sensations that you can create with them, different types and different ways to use them. I will try to include as much information as I can throughout this post, but if you want more of a low-down on how to use them, I’ll include a handy Youtube video later down.
What is flogging?
If you have any knowledge of corporal punishments, then you’ll know that flogging is the whipping of the back, buttocks, legs, or chest for means of punishment. In BDSM, we sometimes also include the genitals and breasts. It’s important to understand that unlike for punishment, in an erotic scene, flogging can be softer, slower, and much, much more sensual.
Why might someone be into flogging?
The sole reason that I can think of is because they look good, and they feel good. It’s easy to think you’d never like it, and yet until you try a sensual flogging for the first time, you can never really be sure! Different materials offer very different sensations, for example, horsehair feels very soft on the skin, latex can be quite light and stingy whereas suede or leather can offer both a stinging seensation as well as a deeper, heavier sensation. Different people like different sensations, so it’s important to not rule flogging off completely until you’ve tried a few. The rhythmic motion can also be very, very relaxing – just be careful not to snore! 😉
How did you discover you were into flogging?
It started off with spanking, and I just wanted more. Spanking was fun, but I wanted to feel like I’d really, really been punished. Psychologically, I wanted to feel like I’d pushed Matt to the absolute limit, that he’d been forced to bring out the big guns on me. Today, we enjoy flogging as something far more connected and sensual, and we have an array of floggers for such an occasion!
Share with us a hot memory featuring flogging.
Oh my god, fucking all of them! I think I preferred our old bedroom to the bedroom we have now, the bedroom was rectangular so we could have walkways on both sides, no weird shapes like we have now. Why am I mentioning this? Because it made it easier for Matt to walk around me and flog me from both sides. Blindfolded, it was a very immersive experience.
The thing with Matt when he flogs, is that he chats. He gets into what I call “evil bastard” mode and it’s so fucking sexy. Sometimes things take a kind of captor/sassy capive twist and that’s always fun. There’s nothing quite like challenging your Dom 😉
Do you have a favourite toy for flogging?
Do I have to choose? Can “all of them” be an answer? I think the purple and black suede flogger is our favourite. It’s sexy, it’s heavy, it’s heavenly.
As it stands, I love suede floggers. Like I mentioned above, they’re heavier and they land harder – sometimes even with bruising! While Matt has never intentionally bruised me, he’s often quite proud of himself if he’s left me with a few marks.
What advice would you give to someone into flogging?
Read, study, Google.. just make yourself as familiar with floggers as you can be. Understand lengths, understand materials, understand techniques. Learn, study, and make sure there isn’t anything that you haven’t already learned. Practice on a pillow, your bed or on the back of the sofa before you flog a living being. You want to be absolutely certain in what you’re doing and your ability to target safely and correctly. Practice different techniques, different distances, even each time you buy a new flogger – you need to be sure in what you’re doing!
Like I always say, agree on a safeword, make sure you remember it and go over it often. Start soft, aim for the buttocks only for now and stay the hell away from your partner’s spine!
Aftercare! For some people (myself included), flogging can be a very cathartic experience and I have been known to cry on more than one occasion at the other end of a flogger. It’s not that I don’t enjoy flogging, it’s that they take me places where all of my stresses bubble up and release. If that happens to you (or your partner), you need to think extra carefully about aftercare. Be ready for aftercare to be deeper or longer than usual. Anytime you try something new, there’s no telling how your partner may react.
If you want a really great video on flogging techniques, I highly recommend Morgan’s video. In fact, just go to town and watch all of Morgan’s videos anyway – she’s awesome!
How do you make flogging work, as a disabled person?
Fortunately, as Matt has me lay down usually for flogging, it’s actually not too difficult at all. Staying away from my hypersensitive areas is obviously key, but otherwise, it’s actually quite easy to do.
For a disabled Dominant, you could try using your non-Dominant hand, have the submissive kneel in front of you and using a shorter flogger if you are a wheelchair user, or even again – just have your submissive punish themselves!
Alright lovelies, I hope you enjoyed this post. Have you tried flogging before? Are you curious to try? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!
Until next time,
Stay safe & have fun,
Helen & Matt xx