Just how far will I go to please?
Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your submission? Why or why not? Are there limits to this?
My immediate reaction to this question was to laugh, because even if I identify as a submissive, that whole “being available anytime he or she wants”? Yeah, no, that doesn’t happen. Honey, I am a very busy girl, and hell hath no fury if he tries to interrupt my day when I’m already trying to get stuff done. If he wants access to this temple, then he’ll kindly have to wait 😉
As a sexual assault survivor. I know how it feels to have a male throw themselves upon you, and it terrifies all living hell into me to this day. I’m fine with someone getting all up in my face, I’m used to that and I can deal with it, but when they violate my person? It becomes oh so much harder.
When it comes to sex and and intimacy, I think communication works best. I hate being pawed at, it’s too much like the past. I’m self-defence trained and so if I’m pushed too far, I fear I might freak out and respond accidentally.
The caveat to all of this is that Matt and I do have a remarkable chemistry and if he’s in the mood (and situations allow!) then I sometimes will effectively allow myself to be “captured” by him, acting as though I’m far too busy while intentionally making myself available. It’s a sort of mating dance we have – my putting up a playful resistance while not actually resisting at all. We both enjoy that power play, that tension, that look that says “brat all you want now, you’ll be on your knees before bed.” True sexual submission would probably require a high degree of obedience and submission, and that kind of immediate submission has just never really been something either of us wanted to have!