Disclaimer: This post mentions topics involving consensual sexual violence. Not suitable for individuals under eighteen years of age. Reader discretion is advised.
Good evening lovelies,
Finally, the time has come for me to talk about on of my greatest kinks – wax play! I contemplated writing a combined wax & ice play post as a simple ‘temperature play’ post, but I could really write so much about these topics that I decided to break it down into two seaparate posts instead for you lucky, lucky people!
In BDSM, I am generally a submissive. However, when it comes to wax play, wax is one of those things that I like to do, and have done. Very recently, I acquired a friend who is actually almost completely unfamiliar with this lifestyle, but after watching the Fifty Shades trilogy, she defined our wicked ways as ‘an art form’. Personally, when it comes to topics like wax play, I couldn’t agree more- There is something just so intrinsically beautiful about different coloured waxes on soft, sufpple skin!
I love, love, love wax play, and I hope that by the end of this post, you will have an understanding of and appreciation for this incredibly sensual and beautiful act, too.
Alright, shall we begin?
What is wax play?
Wax play is the act of dripping hot candle wax on your submissive’s skin. You can use one solid colour for when starting out, or you can work up and use different colours to create pictures and patterns – we’ll get on to how to do that safely in a moment!
Why might someone be into wax play?
First and foremost, wax play could be discribed almost as one of those “not painful” acts. Have you ever gotten into a bathtub and the water was ever-so-slightly too warm, but not scalding? How did you feel? Wasn’t it a bit more “ooh!” than “ARGH!”? w=Wax play is very much the same. It’s just slightly too warm rather than scorching hot (provided you’re doing it safely!) and it can be a wonderful way to soothe tense muscles and nervous newcomers.
How did you discover you were into wax play?
Believe it or not, it actually started at Girl Guides! We were doing our first aid badge and we had to create “blisters” to practice our first aid on, by dripping a drop of hot paraffin wax onto our skin and then colouring it in with a red felt tip, followed by wiping it with an antiseptic wipe (like you would a real blister) and applying a dry dressing. I liked the feeling of the hot wax part though, so I started doing it more, and more and.. well.. by the end of the evening, I had “blisters” the size of something you would probably normally seek proper medical intervention for, and several of them, all over my hands and arms. Yeah.. turns out, I might have got a bit hooked 😉
Share with us a hot memory featuring wax play.
That has to be basically any time Matt and I have a wax play session. The wax is fun, but I have a devilishly dark sadist who loves to peel the wax off either with our steel claws (they’re not as sharp as they look!) or the back of a flat knife (that requires a lot of staying still and even more trust!). With a blindfold on, it can feel like your Dominant is peeling off your skin, which is a complete mind-fuck. I don’t recommend anyone new to BDSM gets into knife play yet though, at least not yet. Start with something not-so-dangerous for now, like the steel claws, okay? Promise? Please?
Do you have a favourite toy for wax play?
Remember those steel claws I mentioned? They’re great fun for removing wax from an unsuspecting submissive. Find them from various sources on Ebay 😉
What advice would you give to someone into wax play?
First things first, know that different wax materials burn at different temperatures. For starting out, soy is best (plus, you can use it for a massage afterwards!), but if you want something a little tougher that’s more fun to scrape off, opt for paraffin. Please, please, for the love of all that is holy, stay away from beeswax candles. I am the daughter of a beekeeper, I have made beeswax candles with my father and I know first-hand that beeswax can leave you with absolutely ungodly burns. Please, never, ever use beeswax candles in your wax play sessions, no matter how masochistic you think you are! It sticks to the skin and continues to burn. Just stay well away, okay?
Secondly, different waxes burn at different temperatures, and different colours the same. Ideally, opt for a “low temperature” candle that has been specifically designed for massage and wax play when starting out, but if you’re really pushed, opt for a uncoloured, unscented paraffin taper or pillar candle, and never, ever use a tea light! The metal casing can heat up and with it, it can cause the wax to boil, putting your partner at risk of serious burns.
Before using your candle, you want to know what the temperature is like. To do that, you can try dripping or pouring a little wax on the inside of your arm, from about 30cm away. If it’s too hot for you, the chances are good that it’s too hot for your partner, too.
Wax play can get very messy, so consider your clean-up before you begin. Dig out something that you can throw through the wash afterwards, or invest in a blanket or soft throw to make it an even more sensual experience. Consider having a packet of wipes to hand too, so that you can remove the wax easily afterwards.
Again, prior to getting stuck in, one of the easiest ways to remove the wax (especially if you’re using paraffin, which can’t be massaged in) is to do a bit of preparation work beforehand. To do this, prepare your partner’s skin with a massage using some some nice-scented massage oil. When it comes to removing the wax afterwards, it should just wipe off with a hand towel (unless you opt for something like our claws, in which case we accept no responsibility for the names that you get called!). You can also use a wipe to remove any remaining small pieces of wax afterwards.
When it comes to starting out, ideally you want to target areas with thicker, less sensitive skin to start with, such as the arms or the upper back. Drip the wax to begin with, from about a foot away then, and only if your partner seems happy with it, you can allow a small pool of warm wax to build, and then slowly and very carefully pour it over your partner’s skin. Don’t forget to keep communication open, in case it’s too much for them. Try dripping spots, lines and swirls. Depending on my mood, I like to do anything from hearts, swirls, figure of eight or words. “MINE” is always a nice sentiment, but “SLUT” can be just as fun 😉
Lastly, please, please use common sense when playing with candles. Never leave a burning flame unattended, and please keep your lit candles away from flammable surfaces, or somewhere they may get knocked over.
Hot Valentine’s Day Tip: Looking for something to spice up your evening? Prior to indulging in wax play, take a leaf out of our books and place lots of tea light candles around the room, get some classical music on the go amd have your partner lay on a bed sprinkled with either silk or dried red rose petals. Opt for vanilla-scented tea light candles for some added sensuality, but don’t forget to keep your wax play candles plain!
How do you make wax play work, as a disabled person?
Because I suffer with cerebral ataxia, the first and foremost thing for me is to have a pillow behind my head. I feel incredibly sick if I lay completely flat, so it’s really important for me not to move into positions too fast, and to keep my head slightly elevated to stave off the nausea. Whether you’re the Dominant or the submissive partner, it’s important that you work together to make it work for you. Is grip an issue? Opt for a wider candle that is easier to hold. Is sight a problem? Have the submissive partner verbally guide the Dominant towards the candle, and then towards their whereabouts. Whatever the problem, we believe that most things can be overcome with a bit of creativity and perseverance!
Alright lovelies, I hope you enjoyed this post. Don’t foget to join me again tomorrow for this week’s weekly check-in!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Stay safe & have fun,
Helen & Matt xx