For a while now, I’ve noticed that one of my most-read posts just so happens to be my piece on needy submissives. It comes up most days as having new views, which would mean to tell me that in some way, it possibly resonates with you.
I want you to understand first and foremost that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being needy sometimes, and there is nothing wrong with you as a person. With that all being said, although it is okay to need another person from time to time, it is important that we can learn to look after ourselves, too.
The Importance Of Self-Reliance
Being self-reliant simply means that you are able to look after yourself. On a basic level, it means that you yourself are able to decide when you need to eat, sleep, visit the bathroom and so on. However, self-reliance also means that you have some awareness of the things that you need to do each day and are able to motivate yourself enough to do them. Self-reliance is a good thing, and it’s a quality that we look for in both professional settings and romantic partners. Although most healthy relationships have a degree of dependency on one another (interdependency), too much of it can be unhealthy (codependency).
Sometimes though, self-reliance can be hard. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, it’s hard if not impossible to kick our own butt. Even I’m prone to those days whereby I wake up and think “not today”, I too have those days where there is too much to do and everything seems so damned impossible/ Sometimes life can seem even more impossible when you struggle with mental health disorders like anxiety and depression. I too struggle with these disorders, and one of the things I find particularly beneficial is meditation. Therefore, I created this meditation to help you better manage your goals and your mental health, in the most devilish and delightful way possible!
How To Channel Your Inner Dom
One of my biggest strengths was to be able to channel my “Inner Dom”. Make no mistake, this practice takes time and effort, but it can be beneficial if you’re currently single, or even if you’re presently apart. On the days when Matt is incredibly busy and simply doesn’t have time for me as much as I would like, I find this practice especially helpful.
When I started out, one of the biggest challenges that I faced was the natural tendency to try and think of things that we normally associate with meditation, such as a warm beach or a flowing river. I was once told that it’s okay to allow your mind to go wherever it needs or wants to go, and so when my mind drifted towards an unknown attic dungeon, I learned not to resist it so much. I encourage you to embrace this concept into channelling your Inner Dom and finding motivation from within yourself whenever you need it. Don’t try to imagine what I saw, but let your mind take you wherever it wants to go.
Begin by kneeling on the floor or on the bed. Of course, maybe you have another position that you present yourself to your Dominant in, or maybe you have another meditation position that you prefer. That’s fine also, use whatever position works for you.
Close your eyes and imagine your Dominant. If you’re single, maybe you might have some qualities that you want your ideal Dominant to be like. If you’re in a relationship, then you’ll probably want to imagine your partner. Maybe you want to imagine them dressed in something different to what they usually wear (Matt’s Red Hot Chilli Peppers band t-shirt usually ruins a scene for me), or maybe they’re a bit different to how they usually are. More strict, more shouty (or more quietly spoken), maybe they use a different name for you this time, allow all of this to come into your mind.
Now allow your inner Dominant to motivate you, allow them to inspire you and to lead you. If you have a partner already, maybe imagine what your partner would say. If you have lots of errands to do, imagine what they might ask you to do first, or how they might ask you to complete your tasks.
Stay with this thought for 10-15 minutes. Be in the presence of your Inner Dom and allow them to guide and nurture you. Allow them to care for you, and for you to feel cared for.
When you’re ready, open your eyes. Gently allow yourself to feel any emotions but try to stay with the momentum that you now have. Show gratitude to your Inner Dom, and show compassion and kindness to yourself. You are not weak or worthless, you are a strong, capable individual!
Congratulations, you’ve just channelled your Inner Dom! Allow them to carry you forward and to guide you whenever you need them. It will take practice at first, but with time, this powerful meditation can give you the motivation that you need to get things done.
I hope you enjoyed this meditation and I hope that it helps you. Be sure to check back soon for future posts 🙂
Until next time!
Stay safe & have fun,