30 Days Of Submission: Day 17 – What Does Trust Mean?

Disclaimer: This post mentions topics involving consensual sexual violence. Not suitable for individuals under eighteen years of age. Reader discretion is advised.

What does trust mean to you in the context of submission?

In the simplest terms, for me, trust means knowing that my partner could kill me, and having the confidence and the belief that they won’t. Trust is is heady, it means potentially putting yourself in situations that could be harmful to you, and yet knowing that you will be kept perfectly safe by your partner. When it comes to more dangerous activities, then trust (and lots of learning!) is what keeps us safe, and we trust that our partner knows enough to keep us safe, and will stop before their is a very real risk to our personal welfare.

Outside of BDSM olay, trust also means believing that my partner is being honest with me and not seeing other people for the reasons of play. It is having that connection that I know to mean that we are being completely open and honest with one another, about anything. It is not practical for us to spend every waking moment together, so trust is also believing that they will not act in a way that could in any way jeopardise our relationship in the moments that we are apart. Trust can’t be given after a period of time or a particular set of words. Trustworthiness can only be earned in your actions, so use them to your full potential to demonstrate that you are trustworthy.

To me, a BDSM relationship cannot wok without trust. Anyone can have rough, kinky sex, but in a relationship, you have to have trust. A submissive trusts a Dominant to care for them and keep them safe, and a Dominant trusts a submissive to follow their lead and be faithful to them. If either of these fail, then the relationship is usually destined to fail soon after.

This is a bit of a hard question to give any real lengthy answer to, but I hope that this very brief explanation at least sums it up somewhat. For more great trust-building communication techniques, don’t forget to check out my page, Communication In BDSM.

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