19th July 2021 – FREEDOM!

Disclaimer: Although nothing in this post is sexual, it contains details of my life, banter and conversations that happen within a self-described 24/7 D/s dynamic and is aimed at normalising and providing acceptance of those of us who choose to live this way. For further reading on my decision not to provide an adult content disclaimer on my non-sexual posts, please see my post “LGBTQ+K: A Case For “Kinky” As A Sexuality“. Thank you.

It is ‘Freedom Day’ here in the UK and yet, for many, I know that it doesn’t feel like freedom at all. Countless people have been pinged and told to isolate by the NHS Test & Trace app and many more are deleting the app after finding it over-sensitive. I tried installing it but I was one of the many who experienced technical issues in the early days and so I uninstalled it again, as many others had done. I didn’t know that the app had been updated and improved since, I just thought that it wasn’t compatible with my phone and that was that. Instead, I’ve just kept my social interactions to a select few, been honest if I feel unwell (and asked the same in return), worn a face mask when necessary and avoided high-risk situations as much as possible. Oh, and washed my hands – so, so many times!

In the early hours of Sunday morning, I ended up in quite a deep text exchange with my brother about drinking, clubbing and adult responsibilities. He owns a car, I own a home, and neither of us can afford nights out like we used to. On average, I used to spend about £80 on a night out with a taxi ride back home at the end. Today, £80 is enough to feed Matt and I for two weeks – and there’s no hangover afterwards!

The funny thing that I’ve found is that as I reminiscence on my clubbing days, I also realise the toxic friends that I don’t miss. We all have them, but for me, the one friend that springs to mind in particular is the friend who spiked my drink and tried guilt-tripping me when I said that I couldn’t join her to go bar-hopping (I was on crutches at the time!). Needless to say, I got rid of her within a matter of weeks. Of course I was sad at first, but it’s amazing how, when you let go of these toxic energies, you really do feel so much better afterwards. Not every friend needs to be in your life forever, and that’s okay.

Yesterday. I ended up back in another philosophical talk with my brother. I love him dearly, but for how well we got along on Saturday, yesterday, he just seemed to be right back into it. My brother, it would appear, is angry at the world’s elite. He is angry at the likes of Elon Musk and Sir Richard Branson, which I find a bit funny given that he uses Chrome, posts regularly on Facebook and readily consumes Netflix. Of course I understand the passion and anger over the class divides, but where does it get us, really? I’ve tried to explain to him matters like corruption and the fact that a little bit of humility for the basics that he has and which some many others don’t have could go a long way. I’ve never truly understood the need to be angry at the things which are outside of our influence or control. As admirable as his passion is, the world won’t change because he is unhappy with it. Besides, all the while you fixate upon what’s wrong with the world, you miss out out on what’s right.

Last night we enjoyed a pizza and some Antiques Roadshow. By all accounts, last night should have been a traditional Sunday roast, except that we’re fully agreed that it was too damn hot for a large hot meal (it’s already 27 °C [80 °F] at 11:21AM here in Bristol). so instead, we decided on a pizza.

“What toppings would you like?” Matt asked.

“Red peps” I nodded enthusiastically.

“Red peps?” Matt laughed, “you’re daft, you know that?”

More nods.

On the show, they fealtured two large, bold, hand-painted vases, each with an estimated value of £2.000.

“I wouldn’t pay more than £50 for that” I said casually.

“You wouldn’t? Why not? It’s nice!” Matt said.

“It’s too bold for my tastes. I prefer monochrome” I replied.

“Boring” Matt teased.

“Simple, sleek, light and dark” I shot back, “no fuss and trying to make patterns work.”

For me, plants and patterned soft furnishings add pops of colour into my home. I embraced green in my lounge, bringing the outdoors in. Green crops up in the kitchen too, though we also have a vibrant, rainbow-coloured bulb whisk.

If there was one thing that Matt managed to do yesterday that really bugged me, it was the use of the words ‘tits’ and ‘fanny’. ‘Tits’ I can accept in the right circumstances, but no man above fourteen years of age should be using ‘fanny’, not unless he’s an American tourist referring to a ‘fanny pack’. In the UK, a ‘fanny’ is the female genitals, and it is a word often associated with teenage boys and immaturity and as a thirty-something woman, I didn’t want or need anything that gave off ‘teenage boy’ vibes in my relationship. I don’t mind being boyish and young-at-heart but immaturity, for me, is unattractive. Worse still it that it also loses my respect, and as my Dominant, that’s undoubtedly the very last thing that Matt wants to hear.

Shortly after our pizza we settled down to watch I’m About To Lose Control And I Think Joe Lycett, a live performance by the “raging homosexual” British comedian, Joe Lycett. In the show, Joe mentioned gay pride and LGBTQIA+ people and I was immediately prepared to be on the defensive. Was Joe about to give me another reason for my existing hatred against him? Kinky people already take a lot of the flack for being the odd ones out at Pride in modern times, so I was ready. Not that I hated on Joe for being gay, by the way, I just found him a bit full of himself sometimes.

Honestly, again, I didn’t need to be so anxious.

That Joe Lycett endorses kinky people at Pride is more than good enough for me. We need to speak up and make sure that kinky people are afforded their rights and representation too so please, next time you think Pride, please remember not only people of every sexual orientation and gender identity but the kinky people, too. Pride is not just the LGBTQ, it is all of our identities combined. You can watch the section of Joe Lycett’s show here, if you like.

I think that’s everything from me for today in what will be my first day of my new schedule. I’m off now to do some planning for tomorrow’s first Top Ten Tuesday and try and run a few errands in this heat. It’s unusual for me to be clocking off so early!

Have a great day and if you’re in the UK, please be careful and sensible. We’ve just got our freedoms back, let’s not give our government a reason to take them away again.

Stay safe & have fun!

Helen xx

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