21st July 2021 – Tips & Tricks

Disclaimer: Although nothing in this post is sexual, it contains details of my life, banter and conversations that happen within a self-described 24/7 D/s dynamic and is aimed at normalising and providing acceptance of those of us who choose to live this way. For further reading on my decision not to provide an adult content disclaimer on my non-sexual posts, please see my post “LGBTQ+K: A Case For “Kinky” As A Sexuality“. Thank you.

I really wanted today’s post to be more positive than it is. If you’re interested, feel free to read on. If not, maybe come back tomorrow for this week’s water-only bathing results?

It’s a balmy 30°C (86°,F) here in Bristol. Both pedestal fans are blowing at full power and we have the windows open but the curtains drawn – a vague attempt at letting the hot air out and and not letting the warming sunlight in. In our southeast-facing lounge it’s not too bad as the only window is on the north-side, but in the bedroom – where the only window is on the south-side- the sunlight warms the bedroom from midday til late evening. By the time we go to bed, our sleeping space feels like a greenhouse.

Saturday is threatening thunderstorms and to be honest, I almost welcome them. I don’t like thunderstorms as a rule but I am So. Damn Hot. I like the smell of a thunderstorm, the cool rain on the hot earth – petrichor, I have been told. I already plan for handling my astrophobia better than usual, plan to wear a blindfold and listen to some ASMR. If I have to nap the storm through, well, so be it.

I’m still not completely over the ‘disco fanny’ remark. Once or twice I’ve mentioned it, perhaps partially in jest, but I’ve also been clear that, even if it cools off and he’s in the mood once more, well, I’m still not feeling like putting it out. It’s an act of defiance, in a way, and a protest in the name of women everywhere: If men can’t respect women’s rights to not smell like a bed of roses at every waking moment then women will take ourselves and our bodies away – sisters will look out for their sisters. Women, too, sweat. We too smell a bit funky in certain places when the humidity builds up, it’s human and it’s natural, you just gotta shower more often. Guys, If you’re not manscaping and washing your junk ahead of sexytimes every time, ask yourself who’s really the gross one here. If you ain’t smelling like clean skin or body wash each time, no woman with an ounce of self-respect will want your bits near her face either, it goes both ways my friend. Not only, but do you even realise what you sound like when you objectify women in this way? Do you know what we hear when you say that some of us smell or are disgusting, yet you want those of us who don’t smell to jump into bed with you, as if we owe you some kind of privilege? Before you judge others, make sure you yourself are perfect.

Last night, I got sick of seeing those sexualised ‘Bugs Bunny Cballenge’ videos on my Youtube shorts feed, so I started reporting them to Youtube for ‘sexual content’. Some depictions of the challenge are innocent enough, but many more are not, are not intended to be, and some of the comments on them are, quite honestly, disgusting, thirsty and lewd, especially for Youtube.

“You don’t need to report it” Matt said, almost scorning my reaction.

To be honest, I do.

I’m all for people having fun, but not when we’re exposing minors to content that most certainly is not meant for young eyes. I may be a BDSM blogger, but I put disclaimers on all of my content so that hopefully. I can help parents keep their children safe, in fact, if I can toot my own horn here for a second, after WordPress reverted a bunch of stuff following my transfer from the Business plan to Premium, those little sexual content disclaimers were the first thing that I did. I didn’t have effective measures in place anymore and I didn’t have control over the situation. Rather than waiting for a complaint to come in with my name on, I took precautions straight away. If you’re distributing adult videos, do not post them somewhere a child can accidentally scroll and see them – doing so may well be considered a crime. Have fun by all means, but stay safe and age-restrict your business if it’s not family-friendly, please.

Today, I had what I can only describe as a scary and bizarre experience. Unlike in the US, in the UK, tipping isn’t customary. In the UK, it is expected that food delivery companies will give their workers a decent salary, and any tips are bonuses on top. Regardless of which country you’re in though, we can all agree on one thing – asking for a tip is pretty rude.

I placed a small order for some groceries via Deliveroo and I got on with making some lunches while I waited. Normally my Deliveroo order goes without a hitch, but not today.

After registering my order as delivered, the driver stood in my doorway, placed my order down then began rubbing his thumb and fingers together in front of me.

“Tips, please? Some tips” he said.

Umm… what? I only give tips on the app, and even then, it’s not obligatory.

I’m all up for giving a tip, and usually I will tip for a whole bunch of stuff: Delivery early – tip. Friendly and patient – tip. Strike up a conversation instead of treating me like a fat, lazy woman who couldn’t be arsed to go to the store – tip. I depended on Deliveroo to get groceries through lockdown and yet now, I’ve come to realise quite how useful getting a few bits delivered can be. Sometimes I’ll even tip generously! If it’s pouring with rain and you’ve just saved me a walk without making it seem like it’s any bother – tip, tip, tip! If my (friendly, but very bouncy) dog breaks free from his confines and greets you but you’re completely breezy about it, hell yes I’m gonna line your pockets for being so chill about the situation. I tip for a whole number of reasons because at the end of the day, these drivers are doing me a favour.

But there’s a catch: I’m not tipping you just because you asked for it.

To me, as I’m sure is the same to a lot of other people, a tip is sometimes customary, but it is not mandatory for the services received, and shouldn’t be expected. If you want a tip, deliver the kind of service that people will want to tip you for: Smiley faces, ask people how they are, go a little bit out of your way (yes, we know it’s a bother – but do you want those tips or not?) and take their stuff to their door, rather than waiting by the gate. Don’t forget, for some people in this pandemic, you may be the only interaction that they have had in a long time, so make it count. Don’t just ask people for the extra money -make them want to pay you!

In the end, I had to assure this chap that I would give him a tip in order to get him to leave, and he did, but not before asking one more time and gesturing something about a bad back. I’ve now put in a complaint to Deliveroo, but I do feel a little bit bad. As much as I’d hate to cost anyone their job, behaviour like this does need some kind of action. I hope it all ends well for this guy and I hope that some day he actually does go on to do better. Instead of redundancy, I hope that he gets some training and some day he winds up going on to give the kinds of customer service for which people won’t mind tipping him.

2 thoughts on “21st July 2021 – Tips & Tricks

  1. Does indeed sound rude….

    I’m so grateful for this post! My erotica blog is new, and you made me realize I have neglected to provide content warnings! I’m about to go correct that now. THANK YOU!!

    1. No worries at all, I’m happy to help. It doesn’t need to be anything long and fancy, just pop something up and copy it onto each post. It’ll help you avoid any hassle should the worst ever happen to your site 🙂

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