Disclaimer: This post mentions topics involving sexual activity and consensual sexual violence. Not suitable for individuals under eighteen years of age. Reader discretion is advised.
After yesterday’s incredibly intense post, I wanted to write about something a little lighter and perhaps more fun than today could have been. Some newcomers to the BDSM scene don’t consider tickling as a particularly kinky thing, and yet, when I switch, it’s one of my favourite things to do. So, let’s iron this misconception out today, shall we?
What is tickling?
By now, everyone knows what tickling is. If you’re old enough (or at least able, naughty naughty) to read this post, you probably know what tickling is. Tickling is using your fingertips, a feather or another tool to lightly excite the nerve endings in the skin, usually in the waist or the feet. A lot of people are sensitive to tickling, though some people can switch it off at will (hello, hi 😉 ). . It is technically another form of sensation play, though it can be independent from it too, if you prefer it to be (though, why would you?)
Did you know: You can only be tickled by someone that you want to tickle you? It’s true! Your high school bully can’t tickle you, nor can, most likely, your boss. At least, not unless there’s been somethin’ goin’ on…
Why might someone be into tickling?
Because it’s fun and people like to laugh? Tickling releases endorphins, the chemicals that makes us feel happy. Laughter is also infectious, so when your partner is laughing, you’ll probably start laughing, too.
As a bonus, tickling also makes the skin especially sensitive. If your partner is blindfolded, tickling them for a few minutes will leave them in a heightened state of arousal, perfect for some other fun and games.
How did you discover you were into tickling?
I’ve always enjoyed tickling people. As a bit of a prankster and someone with a sense of humour, I just enjoyed making people laugh and taking the risk of getting into a little bit of trouble. With the right people, tickling can build trust and connection, you laugh, they laugh -it’s just wonderful!
After my submissive, A, left me, I was determined that I would never be a Dominant again. I invested so much time and patience and empathy into A’s nervousness, as well as his kinks, that I just had nothing left to give. I worked my butt of to make sure that I came across as the cold and uncaring Dominant for him, while still really caring that I didn’t push him too hard or forcing him to do things that he really didn’t want to do. I know that the connection was there, but I believe that he felt it and wasn’t ready. We parted ways because he wanted time to ‘think about things, ‘even us’ and that just left me crushed. I really cared about A, as a submissive and as a friend, and I didn’t want to get hurt like that again.
It wasn’t until I was messing about with Matt one day that I realised that tickling sparked something in me, something about being in control, about having the power. I loved that I could make a grown man laugh and squeal like a little boy again, and I loved that I could do that with almost anyone who wanted me to. Almost immediately, there was that desire for dominance once more. There was something incredibly sexy about leaving my partner all flustered and breathless without actually doing anything sexual with or to them, and I liked that.
Share with us a hot memory featuring tickling.
It wasn’t that hot on the grand scheme of things, but I do remember a tickle fight with Matt that I was winning and that resulted in us making out and me riding him. There wasn’t much tenderness about it, it was just fast, lustful and intense sex that resulted in a mutual orgasm and plenty of ‘I love you’s. Absolutely no regrets in starting that round…
Do you have a favourite toy for tickling?
Just my fingertips, though a biro pen lid is also good. You can get plenty of fun noises out of someone with one of those 😉
You can get feather ticklers from sex toy shops, though personally, I don’t find those as effective. In my humble opinion, they’re much better for sensation play.
What advice would you give to someone into tickling?
I need to give you advice for this? Really? Well, obviously, consent is key – pouncing on a stranger and declaring “tickle, tickle!” is absolutely not okay, apparently, or at least so I have now learned.
Communicate honestly about spots to tickled, is it a no-go zone (so many people say not the feet!) because it’s sensitive, or because it brings back some kind of genuine trauma? If it’s just the former, it’s a go-go zone.
Remember safewords – obviously! If you don’t have one by now or you’re just starting out here, read no further. You need to cover the basics.
Safety first! While bondage isn’t essential, you do want to make sure that your partner won’t roll off of the bed and hurt themselves. When I was a young grasshopper, I saw my brother side-roll off of my parents’ bed during a tickle fight and he split his head on the corner of the radiator. Trust me, the resulting bloodbath was more than enough to make anyone more wary of the risks. Toss some cushions down or tickle on the floor. Find what works for you to avoid bumps and scrapes, please.
Trim your fingernails or wear gloves! It sounds crazy, but I’ve lost count of how many times Matt’s looked like he waded through a cat fight, only for me to realise that it was me who caught him with my claws. Unless that’s you’re thing (no judgement, I like leaving marks 😉 ), make sure you take preventative measures. Also, if it’s not a concern for you, at least make sure that your nails are clean!
If your partner has cardiac issues, please take good care and avoid putting too much strain on the heart. Take regular breaks and allow them time to catch their breath. When we said about making your partner go pop, that wasn’t quite how we meant.
Lastly, for ticklers, please keep an eye on your partner. If they look like they might pass out or their skin begins looking red and scratched, maybe lay off a little bit. It’s great fun having fun, but it’s not so much fun when that ‘fun’ results in you dialling for an ambulance.
How do you make tickling work, as a disabled person?
Tickling is generally safe for almost anyone, whether they’re kinky or not. While that may be the case though, there are still a few things that you need to consider.
First of all, again, make sure that your partner is on a safe surface. Some disabilities can lead to delayed reactions to danger, so you want to be sure that there is even less chance that your partner could fall and hurt themselves. Consider moving a mattress onto the floor, of even just a couple of blankets.
If your partner is non-verbal, be sure to check in with them often using their preferred communication method. Adopt a safe-gesture, rather than a safeword.
If your partner has a visual or hearing impairment, allow them to get used to your presence and work up. Ambushing them suddenly is kind of a little bit cruel…
Lastly, and again, be observant of your partner. Recognise genuine signs of distress or displeasure. If communication is difficult for them for any reason then without your observance, pretend torture could become torture for real. Make sure that everyone is having fun, not just you, the tickle-torturer.
Alright lovelies, I hope you enjoyed this post. Have you tried tickling before? Do you rate it or hate it? Why not share your thoughts in the comments?
Until next time,
Stay safe & have fun,