TMI Tuesday, 07th December 2021

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Let’s talk about sex, baby! But you know, let’s talk about gender, too. It’s TMI Tuesday.

It’s that time of the week again Twisties, who’s back for another round of TMI Tuesday?

What Is TMI Tuesday?

TMI Tuesday is a series of questions generated by TMI Tuesday Blog. It is a great way to meet other bloggers and to share some personal thoughts and experiences. It is important to remember that there are no right or wrong answers to these questions, only the answers of the author –  and that’s part of what makes this tag so awesome! 

How To Play TMI Tuesday

Copy the below TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Send Me Your Questions!

Do you have something you’ve been itching to ask? Maybe something food-related, something a little bit kinky or something completely random? Have fun with it, then be sure to check back next Tuesday for my answer!

Interesting question! I think going back to what “conventional” used to mean then no, absolutely not. However, these days rough, passionate sex is much more mainstream and there was absolutely no hiding from Fifty Shades Of Grey when that came out! How many people talked about it? How many people had tried a little bit of it? Do I think my sex is conventional in so far as what we think of sex to be? Then no. Do I think my sex is conventional for our times? Absolutely, yes.

Personally, I kind of think A and C, B and D go together here. To me, it doesn’t matter whether you were born that way or you have transitioned, if you identify as either male or female, then you are either male or female. It’s a very simplified view I do realise, but it’s my view nonetheless. With that being said, then I am C, female, but please don’t call me “cis”. I have been a tomboy for a very long time and have absolutely no interest in fashion or beauty trends. I have a sex, but I’ve never paid any mind to my gender so ‘agender’ just felt right for me. However, I often present somewhat more feminine and my pronouns are she/her.

E. Bi-curious, but also demisexual (technically demiromantic) and sapiosexual. I also define ‘kinky’ as a part of my sexuality. Interestingly though, despite being submissive to men, I’ve always found myself to be more dominant towards women.

At first I was inclined to say no, but then when I think about things like the nagging wife stereotype and toxic masculinity, I immediately think yes. Where are these stereotypes coming from? How much of these stereotypes is true and what damage do they cause? I think we need to be very aware of that and delve deeper into what is really creating those views. Sometimes, we create such harsh judgements of other people purely because we don’t really understand them.

It’s funny that this should come up, because it’s almost exact of a conversation that I had with my husband not so long ago. In my relationships, I operate on ‘blanket consent’ – the idea that we establish our boundaries and basically anything after that is fair game. It doesn’t guarantee sex, but it means that kissing, caressing and flirting is allowed, and if it escalates, then…

Sometimes you also have to get creative with how you ask. Sometimes we call it “helping me make the bed” or I’ll ask Matt “do you want to throw the meat in the freezer and order pizza in an hour?”. Now that I think about that though, throwing the meat in the freezer is a pretty funny euphemism!

That’s it from me for this TMI Tuesday! Join me next week for the next round! Do you have any questions for me for next week? Don’t forget to leave them in the comments below!

Until next time,

Stay safe & have fun,

Helen xx

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