TMI Tuesday, 08th February 2022 – Intimacy

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Do you feel the connection? It’s TMI Tuesday.

It’s that time of the week again Twisties, who’s back for another round of TMI Tuesday?

What Is TMI Tuesday?

TMI Tuesday is a series of questions generated by TMI Tuesday Blog. It is a great way to meet other bloggers and to share some personal thoughts and experiences. It is important to remember that there are no right or wrong answers to these questions, only the answers of the author –  and that’s part of what makes this tag so awesome!

How To Play TMI Tuesday

Copy the below TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Send Me Your Questions!

Do you have something you’ve been itching to ask? Maybe something food-related, something a little bit kinky or something completely random? Have fun with it, then be sure to check back next Tuesday for my answer!

And now, on with the questions…

1. How do you survive an intimacy famine?

I’ve been quite lucky throughout lockdown because I’m married and Matt and I used to work together so we developed this kind of otherwise-forbidden workplace relationship, that was now totally okay because hey, lockdown. For the first few weeks we had a lot of sex, often quite naughty sex and often at times when we should have been working (which, ironically enough, was only spurring us on!), but then the novelty wore off quite fast and we did settle out in the end. 

That said, I think the best way really is just to look after yourself. Not necessarily in that way (although also maybe in that way!) but with self-care routines. Nice body washes, meditation sessions, treats and nibbles that you enjoy, that kind of thing. Often when we love ourselves, we can feel less alone. 

Also, learn how to give yourself a hug. Really!

2. The loss of which one of these would most affect your mental health or outlook on life?

a. Loss of physical intimacy

b. Loss of emotional intimacy

I had to mull this one over for a while, but I think I’m going to go with b. Loss of emotional intimacy. Anyone can hug anyone, but can you imagine telling someone about your day who doesn’t really give a rat’s ass about you? Sure, it might feel good to get it off of your chest, but then you go home and suddenly you’re all alone with your problems. No way, no thank you! My family, friends and pets are my life.   

3. Gives us a tip on how to get more intimacy in our day-to-day lives.

You’ve come to the right girl! But here’s my little secret… 

Give it first. 

Seriously! Just that. 

To get it, we have to give it, and I see so, so many people on dating programmes get it all wrong. They want someone to love them, to spoil them, to make them feel special, but what do they do when they aren’t loved upon? They whine and complain and act entitled. You know the best way to get love and intimacy? Just give it first! I’m not even talking about sex here, I’m talking about time, affection, attention (and full attention, with eye contact!), honesty, acceptance. Reach out and make the first move, connect. If you make the right person feel special, they will make you feel special right back.  

4. Do you think modern technology helps or hinders intimacy?

Hmm, can I have both? It helps on the one hand, because it can help forge and maintain connections, but hinders on the other, because I’ve been out on dates (mentioning no names of course!) and been replaced by a bloody mobile phone! It’s a huge peeve of mine and I find it so rude. I’m a bit of an impatient person, so if you’re spending time with me and you’re ignoring me for technology then I’m definitely going to have something to say about that.

5. Would you utilize the services of a professional cuddler?

Ahh… maybe, maybe not? I’d like to think that, in an ideal world, I can forge connections with friends where things like hugs wouldn’t seem weird. We shy away from physical intimacy because guys hugging guys (for more that a few seconds) isn’t cool, girls hugging girls is often fetishized, and taken people hugging anyone other than their partner is often seen as cheating. What’s the answer then? Humans have an innate need for social connection, which is often strengthened by physical touch, but we shy away from it because of societal stigma and then pay for a hug in private and from a complete stranger instead, sometimes paying as much or even more than what some people would pay for sex with a sex worker! Actually, I don’t think that’s good at all. Now that I think about it, I actually find the fact that some people have to pay to feel wanted and needed, in all regards, is quite tragic. No, like I said in my first answer, just learn to hug yourself, guys. It helps you and apparently now it saves your money, too! 

That’s it from me for this TMI Tuesday! Join me next week for the next round! Do you have any questions for me for next week? Don’t forget to leave them in the comments below!

Until next time,

Stay safe & have fun,

Helen xx

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