Let’s get back to basics.
You and me baby, we ain’t nothin’ but mammals.
Whilst The Bloodhound Gang may have certainly been onto something, modern society simply doesn’t allow for tapping our more animalistic instincts in our everyday interactions, but have you ever stopped to consider that it might actually be fun? Join this proud Beta as we explore a more natural way of being.
What is primal play?
Primal play typically involves acting in a more natural or animalistic way, often without some of the arbitrary rules seen in other types of D/s, or sometimes even withou the use of words. Often confused with (butdifferent from)* puppy or kitten play, -primals typically like to play wrestle, growl and bite, tussling like dogs or wolves in the wild. They may enjoy more natural (bareback) and/or rough sex, and the smell of sweat or the taste of blood may even be arousing for them. In a world where society has so many rules on how we should conduct ourselves towards one another, primals like to do away with all of the rules in the comfort of their own home, and rewrite some of their own.
*Primal play is different from various forms of pet play, but the two do frequently coincide.
Why might someone be into primal play?
Quite simply, because they’re fed up with being told by external forces what is and is not okay in their romantic or sexual relationships, or what is and is not “nice” to do to other people. When we grow up, we’re often told that it’s not nice to hit people or pull hair, even in play, but then people grow up and enjoy it as a part of consensual sexual activity. We are told not to bite or spit on people, and again, some people enjoy it as adults. Therefore, primals adopt an “almost anything goes” mentality, doing away with what they have been told is okay and deciding with their partner(s) what works for them. Unlike some other BDSM dynamics, a primal’s rules are typically based on their innate nature, rather than on the type of dynamic that they have.
Sometimes, we find it difficult to find the words we want to use. A primal might express themselves in a more animalistic way, using a growl to express displeasure or whimper to express fear. Outside of sex and romance, primals are more likely to enjoy eating meat and/or hunting sports, believing that it is natural for humans to do as apex predators.
How did you discover you were into primal play?
Haha, let’s go right back to the beginning here! I always loved pillow fights and tickle fights with my family, but as I grew up I got told that I couldn’t be boisterous with people anymore, I was too big. Of course I was sad, I loved horsing around!
When I met Matt, within a few weeks, we were messing around together. Not like that, but I would torment him and he would start tapping the backs of my hands with a rule while I worked, or firing elastic bands at me. We became very physical with one another, jabbing one another in the arm with our finger, or making one another jump. We were comfortable with one another from very early on.
When we started dating, the poke fights turned even more physical, and they would often result in tickle fights and play wrestling. Matt and I loved to wrestle, often incorporating bites, licks and nibbles into the mix. Nearly always, the biting and wrestling then led to sex. Matt identifies the wolf as his inner animal, and so we developed our “pack”. I am a Beta to my Alpha, taking charge of the home (and our little dog) while he is busy. For me, “Omega” is too submissive, I have some authority around here. Quite a bit, in fact!
Matt and I enjoy rough, natural sex, often referring to it as “breeding”. Breeding is not an uncommon kink for primals, which I will explore in greater detail another time. We also enjoy steak, something which we both note brings out our more… carnal desires!
In terms of our senses, I often say that I can smell arousal, and I can smell sex too. Primals are often attuned to their senses, sensing the physical and emotional states of other people. Audibly, I tend to vocalise without words, using growls, whimpers and mewls to express myself. I try and refrain from growling directly at my Alpha though, I’ve been reprimanded harshly before for that one!
Share with us a hot memory featuring primal play.
I just… breeding on Saturday mornings, usually without even a “good morning” first. That’s all I can say here, it just seems to be a thing we do!
Then we rest for a bit, get up, shower, get dressed and act like civilised, decent people…
Do you have a favourite toy for primal play?
Err… actually yes, the “breeding cushion” It’s essentially a neck cushion with ankle scraps and detachable cuffs that attach behind the head. It doesn’t come out very often though…
Hey what, do you really think we’re going to waste time messing about with buckles and straps? 😉 .
What advice would you give to someone into primal play?
Agree rules and boundaries. It’s fine playing rough and being a bit animalistic, but we don’t want anyone getting really, really badly hurt. How badly are you prepared to be hurt? For a lot of people, biting is okay, but drawing blood is not. Wrestling is okay, but a knee or a fist to the groin is unacceptable. Decide your rules before you get started, and stick to them.
If you plan to wrestle. make sure you wrestle in a safe space. A double bed is usually okay, but make sure neither of your are likely to fall off and sustain an injury, especially a head or back injury. Also, make sure your play space is free of anything that could get damaged or broken, or otherwise cause injury, such as sharp corners.
If you don’t know already and if you plan to wrestle, learn how to break fall. Break falls take the impact of a fall onto your arm, rather than onto your head or back. If you’re the Dominant partner, learn how to lift and throw your partner safely to keep both of you from injury.
If you’re exploring primal play with a new partner and you plan on having sex, get tested. Yes, I know getting tested feels completely unnatural and seemingly goes against primal play. Yes, you still have to do it.
Finally, if you’re planning on having sex without barrier methods, discuss hormonal contraception with your partner if you don’t plan on getting pregnant.
How do you make primal play work, as a disabled person?
Really, that comes down to having a partner who knows me and understands me, and discussing what is okay and what is not okay. Particularly with wrestling, Matt needs to be quite careful with how he grabs me and throws me. A wrong landing could lead to a whole new pain site for me, so I kind of need extra considerations. That being said, the right partner for anyone will always be considerate, so for as long as you’re talking and you are considerate towards one another, you shouldn’t have a problem.
Can’t lift and throw your partner? That’s okay! Try growls and strong eye contact to intimidate them to where you want them to be instead. In all it’s forms, primal play is about being animalistic, so tune into whatever that inner animal looks for you.
Alright lovelies, I hope you enjoyed this post. Have you tried primal play before? Do you rate it or hate it? Why not share your thoughts in the comments?
Until next time,
Stay safe & have fun,