TMI Tuesday, 22nd February 2022

Young woman with sex bell on red background, closeup TMI Tuesday 22nd February 2022 header image

Don’t… Miss this TMI Tuesday!

It’s that time of the week again Twisties, who’s back for another round of TMI Tuesday?

What Is TMI Tuesday?

TMI Tuesday is a series of questions generated by TMI Tuesday Blog. It is a great way to meet other bloggers and to share some personal thoughts and experiences. It is important to remember that there are no right or wrong answers to these questions, only the answers of the author –  and that’s part of what makes this tag so awesome!

How To Play TMI Tuesday

Copy the below TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Send Me Your Questions!

Do you have something you’ve been itching to ask? Maybe something food-related, something a little bit kinky or something completely random? Have fun with it, then be sure to check back next Tuesday for my answer!

And now, on with the questions…

1. What did you last savor and when? 

That would be either the granola and low-fat natural yogurt combination that I now eat religiously for breakfast, or the dark chocolate Baileys Moment that I had earlier. Dark chocolate and Baileys in one? They’re so good, they should be criminal. I’ll gladly do the time.

2. Athletic mind blowing sex or slow sexy romantic sex, what do you want right now?

You know, first of all, thank you E.L. James, because every time that I now think or say that I don’t really enjoy slow, romantic sex, I get that godforsaken line stuck in my head. The truth is though, slow, romantic sex is… eh… it’s just okay. Can I be somewhere in the middle? Passionate and intense? That’s more like me, passion in everything I do…

3. You are being interviewed and asked to comment on sex-work. What do you have to add to the discussion?

Just that I don’t think it should be stigmatized or taboo. Sex is normal and healthy. Going to the gym or going to a spa is natural, so why is sex work taboo?

4. Should sex-work be decriminalized?

Complicated, but yes, I think it should be. The laws around sex work in the UK are, frankly, absurd, but I’ll clarify my position like this :-

First of all, I still maintain that pimps and “agents” should be prosecuted. The agency over a sex worker’s body belongs to the sex worker, not to the person that they work for. Unless it’s a consensual arrangement and (that’s a whole other matter!), then the workers should have exclusive rights to decide who engages with them, how, where etc. Quite often, sex workers are pressured into doing things that they don’t want to do, with people that they don’t want to sleep with, and are often exploited by those that they work for. A worker’s body is their own, if they want to earn money for sexual favours, then the what’s, the where’s and the how’s should be up to them and nobody else. The money from it should line their pockets, and not somebody else’s.

Now, whilst I think pimps and agents should be prosecuted, I believe that sex workers working together should not be criminalised. Where workers work together, rather than for another, it allows them to support one another and protect each other against harmful acts like exploitation, harassment and abuse. The UK laws say that two sex workers can legally engage in sex work if they work independently, but two or more sex workers working together is a brothel. This, I believe, is wrong. If other providers can work together to provide benefit and relief, why not sex workers?

Throughout the UK, and even the world, services are set up that most of us would pass off as normal – spas, wellness centres, therapists, professional cuddlers, even strip clubs and sex toy shops – but we regard sex as something that we shouldn’t buy or sell, why? We think nothing of getting a massage from a stranger, and we’ll pay a stranger handsomely to listen to our problems, but if you toss a week’s rent to an agreeable stranger and ask them to sleep with you, or even just to pleasure you, society has a problem with that. Buying sexual pleasure instead of supplements is seen as wrong, but why? Sex is good for you, too,

One of the things that dumbfounds me, genuinely, is the number of men that I speak to – some of them not much older or younger than me – who are in relationships where sex and intimacy is a thing of the past. Why then, when we no longer offer our partner that relief, do we care so much if they treat sexual pleasure as a commodity? Why don’t we care for it until the very idea of them finding it elsewhere is put upon the table? Why do we feel the need to own their pleasure, but have no interest in it at the same time? If your partner overdid it at the gym, you would probably think nothing of them paying for a massage, even from someone of the same sex. Yet, if they had blue balls from a sexless relationship and they paid a small sum for a handjob from a stranger -even someone of the same sex and even with protection – that suddenly becomes a problem Why is that? Surely you still want your partner to be comfortable and happy, right?

5. Fill in the blank. Don’t _____ .

Don’t confuse sugar and salt when baking. Seriously, don’t! I did it, a little kid on Great British Junior Bake Off did it the other day, it’s so easy to do and it’s dangerous. I accidentally once put a tablespoon of salt and a quarter teaspoon of sugar into a batch of homemade mince pies – I very nearly didn’t have a Grandad anymore!

Bonus: Are you bored with people who are successful and unhappy? Why?

Not bored, exactly. I pity them.

I started off from very humble beginnings – I didn’t taste real ham (I only knew luncheon meat) until I was seven years old – so these days, everything counts, everything that I have, I’m grateful for. If I want something, I save up or I work to be able to buy it.

I still remember it now, my parents had a list of chores pinned to the hallway wall that we could complete – two sides lined A4! The task with the least reward – collect up dirty dishes – earned us 20p, right up to the most rewarding task – cleaning the car inside and out – which earned us £5. Those were the times when most people didn’t have internet on their mobile phones, and instant messaging wasn’t a thing, so you’d text, and you made every damn letter count. I remember working hard to put together my £10 minimum credit so that I could text my friends, and I remember the joy that I felt when I could.

But times changed, and people were getting newer things, and better things, and people were never happy because the next cool thing was out, and I never could afford even the last coolest thing – heck, all of my clothes came from Peacocks and Primark and I didn’t own a (very, very secondhand!) Nokia 3310 until 2003, so why try?

Why try?

But it was in that “why try?” phase that I noticed that my peers were never happy. Whilst they were held back by not having what they wanted, I was winning at life, just by being grateful for what I had. I was happy and carefree, I stopped caring for trends and celebrity gossip and instead focused on finding myself. I got to know her, and to be honest, she’s a pretty decent girl.

Earlier today, I checked my bank balance – I’m currently sitting on £350 in savings. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but I don’t have any debts and I don’t have anything that I want, either. I also have another £800 pouring in within the week, a large chunk of which will go into savings. My home is protected and insured, my bills are settled, my belly and heart is full. What more can I possibly want for? Each bit that I don’t spend, my savings just pile up.

But you see, isn’t that what success really is? Just being comfortable in what you have? Comfortable in your own skin? Happy with the life you’ve got?

Let’s look at what we define as success here – wealth and fame, maybe a funky internet quote in a few years time. What is the cost of all of that ‘success’ though? Fear. Fear that your home or car will be burgled Fear that you won’t be able to go buy groceries without being photographed. Fear that you’ll be publicly shamed or “cancelled” when things don’t go according to plan.

Is that so successful, really?

So do I think that these people are successful but unhappy? No, to me they are neither successful nor happy. To me, these people are unlucky. When you can live without fear at every turn, only then are you really succeeding.

That’s it from me for this TMI Tuesday! Join me next week for the next round! Do you have any questions for me for next week? Don’t forget to leave them in the comments below!

Until next time,

Stay safe & have fun,

Helen xx

2 thoughts on “TMI Tuesday, 22nd February 2022

  1. I’d add, don’t confuse teaspoon and tablespoon. I’ve done that one and lived to regret it.

    Excellent answers. I particularly liked learning some of the intricacies of sex-work laws across the pond. That sex-workers can’t join without it being a brothel is ridiculous, I agree. And I liked your take on success. Here’s wishing more of the same for you in the future! 🙂

    1. Oh no! I had something similar to that not so long ago. Here in the UK we have a sugar called Half Spoon, which is essentially half sugar and half sweetener. Now, I thought that you used the same amount but had half the calories, but apparently not – you’re also supposed to use half the amount! I ended up making myself a cup of tea that tasted like I’d added four teaspoonfuls of sugar instead of two, so yes, that was definitely an experience!

      Thank you, I shall definitely be back again on Tuesday 🙂

Leave a Reply