Submission in BDSM always starts with a feeling, what’s yours?
What are the emotions that most directly let you access submission? What feelings do they inspire?
This is a very interesting question, and I think as much of it depends on what’s going on and what I’m looking for in the moment, as well as the mood I’m in. Some examples might include:-
Trusting – It generally takes me a time to trust someone, so when I do, I’ll let myself be led by them. Usually it starts in small ways, and then in greater ways as time goes on and trustworthiness is shown. If you show me that you can make a good decision once, I’ll trust you to do it more often.
Safe – Sometimes the world gets me down, I let things get to me and I get wrapped up in my thoughts. Having a safe place that I can turn to lets me let go of that tough girl image, it lets me let down my defences and really feel how I need to feel. Being strong is great, but sometimes even strong people need somewhere that they can be vulnerable.
Helpless – Sometimes helplessness is a horrible feeling and yet, in others times, it is so, so peaceful. Sometimes for me, the best situations come in being in a situation that I can’t control – with someone that I trust! I can’t win, so why bother with thinking about fighting it? That’s liberating.
Challenged – If you really knew me, you’ll just know that conversely, I love a situation where I have to think. I can win if I want to, I just need to think about how. I love getting myself into trouble, and then once I’m there, negotiating my way back out. I’m one smart cookie, and I’m suited to someone that can handle that.
Captured – Being a primal prey, there’s not much more I love than feeling ‘caught’, the feeling of having put up a good fight and having been taken down and overpowered. Not everyone enjoys the thrill of the chase, but when you find someone who does… !