It’s not just about who you are, it’s also about what you do.
Are there items, objects or rituals that represent or help you express submission? If not, have you ever thought of adding or being gifted one? Is there a special significance to these objects or rituals?
I find this question interesting because there are several ways that I express my submission to my husband and yet, none of them are even remotely sexual. Let’s go through the everyday, out-of-the-bedroom ways first.
First of all, I grind my husband’s coffee each week and store it in an airtight container on the shelf, ready for him to make his morning coffee. I don’t know how or when that became an act of my submission, but it did, and it’s had a profound effect on me. The smell of freshly ground coffee now… it takes me someplace, someplace I know my purpose to serve him. I think maybe it stemmed from me grinding his coffee once just to be helpful, and then he asked me to do it again the following week, and again a few days later. After that, I loved it, I wanted to do it, and I wanted to do it to serve him, as his submissive. I now have a weekly reminder on my phone – grind more coffee. I didn’t wait to be asked, and it seems I’m quite protective of my role as coffee-grinder now, too!
Second, and I’m undecided if I like this one more or less, but I cut my husband’s hair and trim his beard for him. It started some years ago as a way to save money, then he realised that I wasn’t bad at cutting hair and got better with practice, and now I can cut his hair and even grade it in for him (provided he doesn’t move suddenly!). I do have a naughty habit, though – I like to try and give my husband a Charlie Chaplin moustache! He knows what I’m up to because of the stupid smirk I get, so he always sternly says “off!” hehe. We also joke that haircutting days are the only time we dress up for one another. Ah, married life!
When it comes to kinky play (and I’m really hoping to get to do this tonight because it’s a Kinky Fuckery Friday), then the lighting of the tea light holder and the incense burner is very ritualistic. For me, creating the space to play is a ritual in itself. It’s like creating the space in which to serve him, to devote myself to him and whatever he wants and needs of me, without the distractions of work and the everyday grind.
Ooh ooh, there is one more on that front – before we play, I get to serve (get to serve? Note the overly proud subby in the room!) him a double measure of whiskey, poured from the lead cut crystal glass decanter and served – with ice – in a lead cut crystal whiskey glass. Both are engraved with his name and proudly bought for him by an extremely lucky girl who is more than happy to serve him.
And you thought I couldn’t be a good girl sometimes? 😉