Raunchy or revolting? We decided to watch the return of Italian heartthrob Don Massimo Torricelli.
Good afternoon Twisties,
You may have noticed that I didn’t post on Friday and that was because, as well as being incredibly busy with my home projects these past few days, Matt and I decided to sit down and watch the next installment of 365 Dni, 365 Dni: This Day. Of course, we decided to do that for our date night so that I could bring you our review!
This straight-to-Netflix movie is the next chapter in the adventure between Laura and Massimo, but did we think the movie was worth the watch? Here are 15 thoughts.
15 Thoughts On 365 Dni: This Day
Caution: Contains spoilers
1. The Fifty Shades Similarities Continue
The movie starts with the marriage of Laura and Massimo. As the wedding reception leads to their honeymoon, Massimo leans to Laura and says “let’s get out of this mess”, not unlike Christian’s “let’s get out of here” to the now Mrs Grey. In this movie, Massimo also gifts Laura her own fashion company, whilst Christian gifts Ana SIP, the publishing company she works for. There’s even a scene where Laura falls forward really awkwardly whilst walking through a door, not unlike Ana did in the first movie. All of this just makes these movies feel like a budget-friendly rerun of the Fifty Shades trilogy with a European flair.
2. The First 15%
… Is little more than sex, some diologue, and then more sex and messy, ugly kissing. Within the first two minutes of the movie Laura and Massimo are engaged in some pre-marital sex on the balcony table (in their wedding attire, for good measure!) and within the first twenty minutes we counted four sex scenes and a handjob. After the honeymoon the rest of the movie is pretty tame, apart from a few scenes with Nacho. For the first twenty minutes though, it could easily pass off as bad porn.
Oh, and if you thought these films were your antidote now that Fifty Shades is over, I have some bad news: The sloppy kissing and badly acted sex completely ruins the tiny amount of (relatively tame) kink you get.
3. The Actors Are Like A Fish Out Of Water
No, but seriously, they throw themselves around to suggest wild and passionate sex and it’s just… not. The women move as though they’ve been thrown into the next dimension by some relatively standard pelvic action and the pairs tend to move in a rhythm that’s mismatched and disjointed for the sex they’re supposedly having. The men gurn and grimace like sex is positively painful for them and I’m wholeheartedly convinced that something has just gone horribly wrong. On the whole the sex scenes aren’t sexy, they’re just ostentatious and awkward to watch.
4. Okay, So The Food Play Scene Is Kind Of Hot
If you can get over the generalised smarminess of Domenico, then the food play scene that occurs between Olga and Domenico (who somehow remind you of Fifty Shades‘ Kate and Elliott) is actually kinda hot. I’m not generally into food play, but it’s not something you see very often in movies and Olga definitely ramps up the heat. It’s a combination of food play and WAM play and Olga’s sexy and playful nature makes it that much better. Okay, so it’s still bloody awkward and showy, but it’s kind of a little hot, too.
5. What Happened Next?
We learn that Laura lost her baby when she was kidnapped, but how was she reunited with Massimo? What happened? How did she lose the baby? We get no context after the first movie. Even a flashback would have helped, but instead, it seems that the producers are focused on a few things – sex, cars and cheap action.
6. Mr Right Now
I get it, Massimo is supposed to be hot, brooding and perfect, but give a girl a break! He’s not hot or sexy or brooding, he’s mean and controlling and disrespectful. In this scene, he tells Laura that she needs to leave the restaurant where her and Olga are relaxing and when she questions him, he leans on the table and says “I said, we’re leaving!”. You don’t get to know how Massimo always knows where to find Laura, but it’s not cute. However, Laura does stand up to him for not letting her spend time with her friends and tells him that “it’s not passion, it’s prison”. You go girl!
7. Nacho Guy
As if the plot wasn’t convoluted enough, we meet Nacho, the gardener, who we later learn is actually part of a rival mafia. It begs the question though, how does he get in? How does he get past Massimo’s numerous bodyguards without being executed upon sight? We just don’t get to know! Laura is relaxing on the porch and sipping cocktails, and then boom! A wild Nacho saunters in to sweep her off of her feet. At first you could be forgiven for thinking that it’s some kind of roleplay fantasy between Laura and Massimo, and then you discover that it’s not.
8. An International Phonecall
Try and keep up with everything that happens here, because we struggled. In this scene, Laura calls her Mom back in Poland to tell her that she was right about Massimo, that he is bad news (by now, Laura believes he’s cheating on her) and she wants to come home. That’s fine, but Laura calls her Mom to hear a message from an American woman that tells her that the number is unavailable. There is no invitation to leave a voicemail message after this announcement (because it’s not a voicemail service) but Laura proceeds to leave one anyway! We were screaming at our TV over the impossibilities of this scene.
9. The Bling Thing
At first I overlooked the little bit of opulence here and there – something gold and sparkly here, something crystal-covered there – but then it’s everywhere. Everyone and everywhere that is supposed to be rich has this gold and sparkle going on and honestly, it gets a little tiresome. It stops looking rich and luxurious and it starts looking try-hard and fake. If you imagine walking into a generic department store with glass chandeliers to make the place feel more classy, then it’s like that.
10. A Few Extras
You know how every movie has extras? Those people dining in the restaurant or walking in the street to make a quiet part of New York look a little bit more alive? In one beach scene, Matt noted a lady in an orange bikini walk behind Laura on at least three separate occasions. It’s obvious that the film struggled to find extras, and those who were roped into doing some backgound acting do more than their fair share of work.
11. Visit Italy
If the first movie could be called “Windows”, then this film could be called “Visit Italy” because it contains many, many different shots of Italy and Sicily, all with little sequence or context. Italy and Sicily look great, but it does far more to make me want to visit than it does to tell me what’s going on, and I’m sure that they’ve driven on the same stretch of road several times before.
12. A Continental Breakfast
Okay Italian friends, I may be judging something here that is a done thing… but spaghetti bolognese? For breakfast?! When did THAT happen?! It feels like the production company just decided to cram as many Italian stereotypes into one movie without any regard for where or if they fitted in. I’d be delighted to hear from any readers who could tell me whether or not this is a done thing, but from a cursory Google search, it would seem not so.
13. Up Close And (Too) Personal
Back to those sex scenes now, and this movie contains at least four cunnilingus scenes, one of which is from Laura’s point of view. Laura dreams about having sex with Nacho and here, the camera allows us to look into Nacho’s powder blue eyes from between Laura’s thighs. It’s hot, but oh heck we’ve just met him and frankly, it feels awkward. You didn’t know a film could make you blush, until it does!
14. Mind The Gap
From start to finish, this whole film is incredily hard to keep up with. After the first half an hour of sex, the whole film becomes about Laura’s sudden encounter with Nacho, her falling in love with him after she thinks Massimo cheats on her (really she walked in on his identical “twin” brother – more on that below!) and the hot (but very vanilla) sex that they have. Nacho is part of a rival mafia, but he and Massimo somehow pair up unquestioningly when Laura gets kidnapped (again)! There are jumps and gaps in the script which, if you’re not really following, make the whole film difficult to watch. There’s a lot of dedication to the love story with Nacho, but nothing really as to what Massimo is doing about it, short of throwing his weight about and shooting a couple of people.
15. Not Another Awful Ending
365 Dni ended badly and tragically, this movie isn’t any better. In the final stand-off, Laura is the first to get shot through the lower abdomen by Anna, who is then fatally shot by Massimo. Massimo’s evil brother, Adriano (who is played by Massimo actor Michele Morrone!), is shot in the shoulder by Massimo and Nacho, having turned the gun on Massimo, has a change of heart and decides to let him live. It’s slowed down with dramatic music but the special effects are still obvious and once again it leaves you with far more questions than it has answers. This isn’t a cliffhanger, it’s a bird’s nest. Pure and simple.
Overall, we went into this movie not expecting to be blown away and sadly, that was the case. The acting is washy, the sex inconcievable and the plot almost non-existent. Watch it if you’re curious, but don’t expect it to blow your mind away. It was one star for Matt, a generous two from me, seeing 365 Dni: This Day finish with a miserable 1.5 stars.
That’s it from me for this post! have you watched 365 Dni: This Day yet? Will you watch it? Let me hear your thoughts in the comments.
Until next time!
Stay safe & have fun,