It’s hugely popular and it’s one of the most beautiful things for oh so many people. Disnerds and snuggle bunnies unite! It’s time to grab your favourite blanket and your person (if you have one) and snuggle up as we explore the Daddy Dom kink.
What is the Daddy Dom kink?
The Daddy Dom kink is often viewed as a softer, more nurturing form of Dominance & submission. Unlike other dynamics that can be quite strict, Daddy Dom (and by extension, CG/l [Caregiver/little]) relationships can be quite silly and fun. In a Daddy Dom relationship, the Dominant partner assumes the role of “Daddy” and the submissive parter is the “little girl”. However, not all “little girls” are the same, and some identify as littles, middles, babygirls, princesses or brats.
A lot of the advice in this post relates more broadly to CG/l dynamics, but as my relationship is a DDLG dynamic (Daddy is very specific about his title!), I’ve titled it under such.
Why might someone be into the Daddy Dom kink?
For Daddies, Mommies and Caregivers alike, it’s a chance to take a protective, caring, guiding role in their relationship. For many, being a Master or an Owner feels too controlling and strict, and so becoming a Daddy Dom feels “right” in some way because they can love, protect and have fun with their partner. The caveat here is that really, absolutely any dynamic can be fun if you want it to be. In all cases, it has far more to do with the people within the dynamic than it has to do with the dynamic itself 😉
For littles, there is an appeal in being loved on, led and protected by their partner in an almost parental style. They don’t see their partners as a parent, but they see parent-like qualities in them that are intrinsically attractive to them, that tap into a softer, more submissive side of them.
Still some many littles and middles age regress, though some many others (myself included) do not. For these littles and middles, activities such as colouring books, cartoons, dressing up and playing with toys can be a way to relax and unwind. For these people, sharing these activities with their caregiver is also a key part of their bond.
Unfortunately, there does seem to be a growing community of women who see or treat Daddy Doms like Sugar Daddies. Although a Daddy may spoil you (because Daddies are wonderful people like that!), they are under no obligation to do so because you call yourself a little girl. Your reasoning for getting into a DDLG relationship should be to serve a Daddy and to be loved by a Daddy, not to demand things in return for affection or sexual favours. A lot of people who are interested in “true” DDLG take a very dim view on littles who try to exploit these dynamics for the purposes of material gain.
How did you discover you were into the Daddy Dom kink?
Like all good kinky things, it started in the bedroom.
Confession time – I have a thing for age gaps, and so the idea of sleeping with a man who was steadily approaching fifty caught me unawares one day. It became a fantasy that I… had to do a little something about, and at the peak of my pleasure, I remember whispering “please, Daddy”.
Of course, at first I was confused by it all. My father was still very much alive and the idea that I was somehow attracted to him was revolting. I loved my Dad, but to be attracted to him? I felt sick, confused and ashamed.
So, being honest as I am, I wrote about it in my journal. I wanted to share it with Matt and hope that he wouldn’t judge me, that maybe he could help me make sense of it all in some way. Nothing more was said.
A few days later, one thing led to another and we ended up in bed. Things got pretty hot and heavy and Matt mentioned “Daddy”. I just stopped, looked at him and laughed out of confusion because we hadn’t even talked about it at that point, he told me to “just shut up and go with it”. Best. Sex. Ever.
Share with us a hot memory featuring your Daddy Dom kink.
Fuck… there are far, far too many to count. Things that have come up that I still need to discuss with Matt even, so there’s that. I think the best times are the times when things feel a little… taboo? That’s hot. Kinda wrong, but hot.
Do you have a favourite toy for your Daddy Dom kink?
“Daddy’s collar” (his hand around my throat). Neither of us want for anything else 😉
What advice would you give to someone with a Daddy Dom kink?
If you have this kink and your partner doesn’t know about it, start very, very slowly. Some people associate it with incest (for obvious reasons), so you want to clear up any confusion before you spill all of your beans. Ask them what they know about it, ask them what they think of it, and then ask them if it’s something that they might like to try. Gauge there response at every turn. Turning up with handfuls of colouring books or sticker charts probably isn’t the best idea!
If you’re a little or a middle, similarly, be prepared for lots and lots of questions. Your partner may want to know why you’re into it, how you got into it, and they may have a lot of questions about how you were treated as a child. For a lot of people their childhood was actually a happy time, and the desire to go back there has more to do with the safety and blissful ignorance that they felt as a child. Be honest, no matter how hard it gets, and try not to be defensive. If it gets tough, ask for some time to cool down and then return to the discussion.
When it comes to creating a dynamic, be clear about who you are and what you want. There are many dynamic types out there, and unfortunately, there are also a lot of stereotypes, too. Not every little is into Disney or colouring books, so if watching cartoons for four hours straight isn’t a reward for you, say so. Look at stereotypes and activities for people in DD/lg and CG/l dynamcs, and decide what you do and don’t want to do, and add your own interests and activities too. Make sure you communicate!
Just as an example of how a Daddy Dom dynamic can look, in our relationship:-
- I wear adult clothes
- I also live in colourful stripey socks, these are my current favourites!
- I love touchable bubbles
- We don’t have points/sticker charts
- Glittery eyeshadow is my obsession, and I have at least four palettes bought for me by my Daddy!
- If we go out together, Daddy organises all transport. If I need to go out, Daddy books me taxis from his personally-selected companies, too
- My favourite “stuffy” is a brown shaggy bear called Baddocks, bought for me by guess who? 😉
- Daddy loves me in dresses – navy blue in summer, black lace at bedtime…
- I’ve never watched The Lion King in full, I’m not into The Little Mermaid either
- I’m not into cartoons, but Daddy will
suffergladly watch back-to-back police shows with me
- “Messy nugs” (Quorn nuggets with BBQ sauce and cheddar cheese) are a popular lunch for me
- I cant fill my own water bottle, that’s Daddy’s job
- I don’t “Little Speak”, we have our own language
- I don’t say “c*nt” or “t*at” if I want to be able to sit down next week!
- I love playing on swingsets, Daddy loves to push
- I don’t colour, even mandalas
- Touching Daddy’s toys (apart from cleaning them) is strictly forbidden
- Coin push machines with Daddy = life
- Bristol aquarium is our #1 date spot!
- I don’t play video games, apart from “Roller Toaster Tycoon”
- And more…
How do you make your Daddy Dom kink work, as a disabled person?
Really it’s all about communication, and to get into DDLG you need only two things – to be of the age of consent (eighteen in most places) and mentally capable of making your own decisions. That’s it! Got both of those? Congrats! You’re in the club!
The beautiful thing about dynamics is that you don’t need any special skills or tools to be into them. I’ve met Masters in wheelchairs and Daddies who have seizures. You have a disability? So what?! Your disability doesn’t have to define you.
Work with your disability, don’t work against it. For littles, it might be that your Caregiver now takes on certain tasks (Daddy opens jars because I can’t, with my wrist) or it might be that your little has to sit on a cushion on the floor by a wheelchair for storytime. Maybe certain SFW activities can happen in a treatment room or a favourite stuffie can be smuggled into the hospital. Think, adapt and overcome. Find what works for you both.
DDLG & Mental Health
I wanted to brush on this subject separately because for a lot of CG/l dynamics, it seems that mental health disorders are pretty common. In my dynamic, my husband/Daddy has a profound affect on my ability to cope and the management of my mental health. In this section, I am going to address how DDLG can help you.
Before we begin, first establish that you are doing this consensually and with the best intentions. It’s one thing to enter into a DDLG relationship, but it is entirely another to force or coerce your partner into it so that you can take control of their mental health.
Both agreed? Wonderful! Next, consider some rules that may positively impact your partner’s mental health. From my own dynamic, some include:-
Brush your hair and teeth at least once a day – When you look better, you feel better. Of course you can encourage your partner to do these more than once a day, but for people in the grips of depression, even just once can be a struggle.
Don’t read the news more than twice per day – Thanks to live news coverage from disaster zones, doomscrolling is so prevalent in our modern world. My husband limits how much news I get and I’m a lot calmer as a result.
No self-harm – With time and support, a lot of people can stop hurting themselves (including me). By providing your partner wih love, care and alternatives (as well as maybe the input of a therapist), your dynamic can be a wonderful safe space for them to kick this habit.
Journal at least X imes per week – it’s three times per week for me, but it may be more or less for you and your partner. Journals are a great way to open up and share problems before they get too much.
Bedtimes/get up times – when you’re in the throws of stress or depression, many people don’t sleep properly. By helping your partner establish a routine, you can help them get the rest they need.
Punishments & Mental Health
Uh oh! You have rules and now rules have been broken, but hold your horses! Before you come down hard on them, make sure you communicate and fully understand the problem.
Did they have a nightmare? Help them calm their mind and find ways to cope with night terrors in future. It’s a Daddy’s job to scare away the bogeyman!
Did they miss their personal hygiene because they feel unworthy? Remind them how much they are loved and, if you can, maybe even help them care of themselves. They’re already down on themselves and right now, a punishment could make it worse.
Still not working? You could…
Set an earlier bedtime – An extra hour in bed will help pay off the sleep debt from the day before.
Have them write an apology letter to you – Explaining what they did, why they did it and what they will do next time (the right thing, of course!) or, if it was something outside of their control that you could have helped with, why they didn’t ask for your help (so you can discuss a way forward for next time).
Have them write lines – “I will not stay up past my bed time” x 50 ought to drive home the message. Repeat if it’s illigible 😉
Set them a time out – Sometimes, just some forced time to think can be extremely powerful.
And of course, if your little does do what you have asked, then praise, praise, praise! Reward, spoil and celebrate the moments of success. Their world may be full of darkness most days, now is your chance to add some rainbows and sparkles 🙂
That’s it from me for this post! Have you tried the Daddy Dom kink before? Do you rate it or hate it? Why not share your thoughts in the comments?
Until next time!
Stay safe & have fun,