Lessons In BDSM: Do Dominant Men Eat Pussy?

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Hey Twisties,

First of all, welcome to my new sub-workshop (no pun intended 😉 ) – Lessons In BDSM! These will be available for you (for free) coccurently to our free Guide To BDSM, but will be much more naunced. Do you have an idea you’d like me to discuss? Got a question you think would make a great (and educational) post? Be sure to drop me a message!

In today’s post, I wanted to discuss something that I hear quite often from young aspiring Dominants: Dominant men don’t eat pussy. This post refers namely to Dominant men who perfom cunnilingus, but much of these points are applicable right across the board, in all genders and dynamics. Basically, does a Dominant partner perform oral sex on a submissive partner, or not? Let’s discuss!

A man teases a woman with a piece of ice, suggests sex, intimacy, relationships men, women

Why Dominant Men Don’t Eat Pussy

1. Because Oral Sex Makes You Submissive

This is probably the most profound belief that I have heard amongst Dominant people – if you perform oral sex on your partner, you are serving them, and that makes you the submissive. A submissive’s duty is to please a Dominant, right? Therefore, it should be the submissive who is doing the sucking and licking! Well yes, maybe, but also no. More on that later.

2. Because Her Vagina Smells Bad

They’re called showers and washcloths, and plenty of homes in the 21st Century have them. Even in third world countries where water is in scarce supply, personal hygiene is not overlooked. If she’s got a smell down there and it’s not making you hungry, gently suggest she sees a doctor to rule out an STD, thrush or a bacterial infection. It’s not even about sexytimes at this point, it’s about her physical health.

3. Because They Think Vaginas Taste Bad

That’s a personal opinion, my friend. You see, opinions are like assholes – everybody has one! Don’t like the taste? That’s totally okay! But please, please be honest about your reasons. I personally can’t stand avo, but plenty of people live for it!

4. Because They Just Don’t Enjoy Doing It / They’re Asexual

This one is actually perfectly valid. If somebody simply doesn’t enjoy doing a certain sex act, or even doesn’t engage in any sexual activity at all, that’s okay! Nobody should force another person to have sex, or engage in any sexual acts against their will, because doing so would be illegal. A Dominant partner is no less valid because they have certain boundaries, so if it’s not for you, it’s not for you!

5. She’s Got Hair Down There

Going back to personal preferences here, some people are put off by the presence of body hair. While I’m personally not picky as long as it’s trimmed, some people are put off if they see any body hair at all. If it’s an issue, discuss making it a rule for her to be bare (or at last tidy) down there and if all is not cool, call it irreconcilable differences and move on.

6. It’s Not A Part Of The Agreed Dynamic

This one is also totally valid, because not every BDSM dynamic has a sexual component. Perhaps it’s an agreed corporal punishment scene between kinky friends who have sexually exclusive partners? That’s okay. Maybe you meet someone who has a cool non-sexual toy that you’d like to experience? That happens too. Plenty of friends practice rope bondage or wax play together, but don’t end up having sex. A BDSM scene is still a BDSM scene, even with all of your clothes still on.

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Why Dominant Men DO Eat Pussy

1. Because They Enjoy It

What more reason do you need, really? I’m the submissive of two wonderful gentlemen, and both of them are proud cunnilingus connoisseurs. If BDSM is about the Dominant’s pleasure then let them eat c- …anyway!

2. Because Orgasm = Loss Of Control = Submission

This was a big kink of mine that I kept hidden for a long, long time, and I’d resist an orgasm from oral sex because it meant me surrendering control to the ministrations of another. Even if I secretly wanted that (forced) orgasm, I didn’t want it at the same time because a boss bitch like me lurves control. Make sense? Anyway. For some Dominants an orgasm is a way to bring about a loss of control, and therefore submission, which brings us onto…

3. Because It’s Effective

Yikes! The secrets are coming out in this post, aren’t they? I’m one of those women who is probably about 90% guaranteed to orgasm from oral sex, but that figure declines quite rapidly from other forms of stimulation. Most women require clitoral stimulation to orgasm, and a lot of women (and people, generally!) love receiving oral sex. Given that, then why try anything else?

4. Because It Puts Them In Control Of Their Partner’s Pleasure

They can blow, kiss, suck, lick, nibble… and all their submissive partner can do is endure. Throw in some bondage and that fact becomes even moreso, and it’s a great way to keep a submissive partner on edge for as long as the Dominant partner desires. I know of at least one sadist who likes to play this game, in fact, that’s most likely two!

5. Because It Allows Them To Change The Pace

At the core of their role, a Dominant partner is in control during the agreed times. They don’t necessarily need to be controlling in their demeanour, it may just be that they are more like a point of referral instead. Given this, then giving their submissive partner oral sex may allow a Dominant partner to change the pace of a session, either to help stave off premature ejaculation, or simply just because!

6. Because They Care About Their Partner’s Pleasure, Too

Aww, this one’s actually pretty sweet. Underneath all of that tough exterior, a lot of Dominants are actually pretty decent people who believe strongly that the pleasure shoud be shared. If a submissive pleases them, they believe, then a submissive should be pleased too. Plus, it often ties in with #1 on this list, so that’s a plus.

Bonus!

7. Because What Better For Aftercare?!

Similar to the above, some Dominants might enjoy giving their submissive partner oral sex as part of aftercare. Again it’s not fully penetrative sex, which might be acceptable for some non-monogamous dynamics where pentrative sex is not okay. Not only, but it can be soft and gentle – a welcome reprieve for the body that the Dominant partner thoroughly used not so long ago!

A man and woman kiss in bed, suggests sex, intimacy, relationships men, women
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Conclusion: Do Dominant Men Eat Pussy? It Depends

Look, BDSM dynamics are as diverse as the people within them, and so no two are ever exactly the same. If you enjoy oral sex and you want to go down on your submissive partner, go right ahead, enjoy yourself! If you don’t? That’s totally cool too. But please stop saying that Dominant partners don’t eat pussy, because there are plenty of Dominants who do.

That’s it from me for this post! Are you a Dominant who loves going down? Why do you (or don’t you) enjoy giving oral sex? Let me know in the comments!

Until next time!

Stay safe & have fun,

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