TMI Tuesday: 22nd November 2022

A strong confident black woman whiles into the camera, white text n a black banner reads "TMI Tuesday: 22nd November 2022"

What Is TMI Tuesday?

TMI Tuesday is a series of questions generated by TMI Tuesday Blog. It is a great way to meet other bloggers and to share some personal thoughts and experiences. It is important to remember that there are no right or wrong answers to these questions, only the answers of the author –  and that’s part of what makes this tag so awesome!

How To Play TMI Tuesday

Copy the below TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Send Me Your Questions!

Do you have something you’ve been itching to ask? Maybe something food-related, something a little bit kinky or something completely random? Have fun with it, then be sure to check back next Tuesday for my answer!

And now, onto the questions…

1. Compared to 5 years ago do you care more or less about what people think of you?

Oh less, so much less, it’s like light and day now. Five years ago takes us back to 2017, I was just a housewife at the time and I thought that if I couldn’t at least housewife properly then I was a failure through and through, I also thought that I didn’t matter and wasn’t meant to be anything in this world, I’d be forever in my brother’s shadow. I started blogging in 2018 and it was largely because I knew I could write and thought that maybe I had something to offer the world after all (and I had Matt and Bill kicking my ass because they believed it too) so I thought hey why not, right? I really didn’t think I was going to get very far because I’m not trendy at all, I’m just… me, but here I am! I get so many nice comments about my work or my writing that I’ve come to realise sometimes being trendy isn’t all that important anyway, and being unique and kind is what matters more. People like unique, unique makes you unforgettable.

You know, that’s probably a quote for my headstone!

2. What is the last self-help book, article or blog post you read? Did it help you?

So I really didn’t want to get into this, but it was this one. Did it help me? I think so, yes. It helped me gain some perspective on some areas of my life and realise that I shouldn’t apologise for being me or for who I am, a strong, confident woman who marches to the beat of her own drum. Also, knowing my strength and worth is why I love this song so much:

There’s a lyric in this song which I find reasonates strongly with my submission as well, “I’ll let you come take the wheel as long as you don’t forget”. For me it means to say “I’ll let you Dominate me as long as you respect my terms, my limits and the areas of my life that are out of bounds”. A Dominant worth their salt will always respect your boundaries, and I’m extremely privileged to have at least three of them in my life in some capacity.

3. Tell us 3 people you must have in your life.

Matt, Bill and me, we’re a bunch of idiots but we’re a force to be reckoned with. Not in a violent way, but we’re all out here causing ripples and making changes in our own ways and I love them both and I’m so proud of both of them for what they do. Also, that conversation went something like this:

Matt: You can’t need yourself in your life…

Me: Of course I can! I’m my own best friend and I’ve lived with me for longest. If you can’t live with yourself then… well, you’ve got problems

Funnily enough, he didn’t have an argument for that 😉

4. Does tech interfere with your personal relationships? How so?

Ugh, phubbing, we’re really going there, huh? Phubbing pisses me off because it is so, so rude, and I had that life lesson for myself. When I was in my teens – about sixteen or so – I was involved with a Pakistani man (who was lovely and oh so handsome, but that’s not why we’re here). I was busy texting him, and meanwhile I was losing my grandfather to lung cancer. After that I vowed never again, and it’s why phubbing pisses me off so much now. That conversation you’re currently not having because you’re too busy on your phone? You might never get the chance to have it again. Put your damn phone in your pocket and go talk to your special people, please! In fact, if I implore you to do one thing today, put down your phone and give your undivided attention to that special someone.

5. When you want your partner or friend’s undivided attention, how do you communicate that?

I’ll say “in a minute, can we have a chat about _____ please?”. Say they ask for five minutes, I’ll give them five minutes then go back again. Now, I admit to using psychology here, so if they’re not ready then I’ll wait and watch them, which gets into their mind that I am waiting for them and I’m not something you can just ignore. If they keep me waiting for too long (and I’m talking upwards of ten minutes here) then I’ll just smile and say “perhaps another time would be better”, which usually invokes a guilt trip and makes that person not want to keep me waiting in future. The only ones who don’t care how long they keep you waiting are the ones who never really cared to hear you in the first place, and why would you waste any more of your time on them anyway?

Bonus: What is your view of love?

Me: I’ve come to realise that love is just like having a best friend that you don’t mind kissing

My Mum: Oh come off of it Helen, love is like having a best friend that you don’t mind fucking

I’m done, no further questions your honour.

I don’t think you need to have sex to love someone, and love can look like different things with different people. Sometimes anyway, fucking someone mentally is just as much – if not even more – fun than fucking them in the flesh, so there’s that.

That’s it from me for this TMI Tuesday! Join me next week for the next round. Do you have any questions for me for next week? Don’t forget to leave them in the comments below!

Until next time!

Stay safe & have fun,

My digital blog signature. All rights reservef.

Bonus puppy pic: Want to come in? You’ll need the password…

Hugo the Jack Russell peers out from inside a grey laundry bin
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