Disclaimer: This post mentions topics involving consensual sexual violence. Not suitable for individuals under eighteen years of age. Reader discretion is advised.
By now, it could just be that you’re really enthusiastic about getting into BDSM. Great! Welcome! Before you start flogging or spanking or whipping your partner though, we need to have a little chat.
The human body is full of lots of sensitive areas and organs. Let’s be honest, how often have you stubbed a toe and cursed like a sailor? Eaten a heavy meal and wished you hadn’t? When something goes wrong, our body is normally the first to let us know about it.
Now let’s look at the more extremes. When we experience something like a car accident, we have no control over the amount of force that’s applied to our body. Sometimes we might just walk away with some bruising, and other times these they can be fatal. Just like BDSM then, it’s really important that the driver knows how to control the car.
When it comes to BDSM, we apply all kinds of force to the body. Usually, it’s consensual and everyone goes home happy, but if we haven’t learned how to do things safely and properly, then there’s a chance that people might not go home at all. For that reason, it’s really important that we learn the areas of the body that just aren’t okay to strike.
You’ll notice on the diagram below that the head is coloured red. Do we just not recommend face-slapping, then? No,t at all we just don’t recommend it at this stage in the game, and certainly you never, ever want to strike the face with any kind of implement. Eyes can get damaged, noses broken, lips burst and so on. Let’s just not do that to one another, okay? I’ll also detail out a whole bunch of crucial information further down.
Red Areas – The red areas are the areas that you absolutely do not want to hit, ever, unless you’re really experienced and you’re doing a bit of face-slapping, in which case it’s kind of okay. For starting out here though, the head should absolutely be off-limits.
On the back, you don’t want to do anything that could cause trauma to the spine or kidneys. A blunt force trauma (which flogging and whipping basically is!) gone wrong could cause paralysis and loss of function to legs and organs, and a ruptured kidney could prove fatal. In the face, as mentioned above, an eye injury can lead to blindness. If you’re doing anything impact play-related, stay well away from these areas!
Yellow Areas – Yellow areas are kind of okay, They’re still softer areas and they’re still quite easy to injure, but if you go careful, aim well and know what you’re doing, you can have some fun.
If you’re just starting out, I strongly advise that you stay well away from the chest. As fun and tempting as it might be to flog your submissive’s boobs until they’re all pink and sexy, a flogger throng gone wrong can flick up and hit them in the face. Arms and legs can be receptive, but it’s best to go for light sensation over beating, and only if your partner enjoys it. Go for softer, sweeping strokes and light flicks on the yellow areas, and gauge your partner’s reactions carefully.
Green Areas – Green Areas are areas that are generally seen as “safe” for newbies. They either have a wide surface area, or they’re soft and fleshy and unlikely to do any real harm. Do note the proximity of the kidneys to the butt though – you’ll want to make sure you know how to target your strikes safely before you get too elaborate and crazy!
X marks the spot – The X’s on our diagram mark the “sweet spot”, an area on the back of the thigh and just below the buttocks that is exceptionally sensitive to pain. Even as a bit of a brat myself, it is the one that really makes me think twice about carrying on my antics! Sadists love it because it only takes a light flick to gain a squeal or a whimper. If your partner seems to really enjoy pain, try a little flick here and see how they respond.
Before you get started..
Just like driving a car, before you can get your hands on your first set of keys, you need to get plenty of practice. I know that beating up a pillow or a rolled-up blanket doesn’t sound like much fun, but trust me, it’s for the best.
Practice flogging, cropping and spanking a pillow or a rolled-up blanket. Place a small piece of coloured tape on the blanket, and practice hitting it every time. Only when you can hit it accurately and every time should you be thinking about pairing it up with your partner.
When you step into impact play, always start soft. It’s not only the submissive partner who may need to adjust to giving physical pain, the Dominant partner may need to adjust to giving it, too. Never, ever go harder or faster than you are both comfortable with, remember to check in with one another regularly, and never, ever forget your safeword!
Until next time.
Stay safe & have fun,
Helen & Matt xx